THE LUGGAGE

Feb. 6th, 2016 11:46 pm
wizzardly: (THE LUGGAGE)
[personal profile] wizzardly

"The Luggage had a straightforward way of dealing with things between it and its intended destination: it ignored them."
- Faust Eric



WHAT THE HELL IS IT?
The Luggage is, literally, a large wooden trunk with solid gold hinges. It just also happens to be a wooden trunk carved out of sapient pearwood, one of the most magically-imbued materials on the whole of the Disc. This intense magical field has granted the Luggage a number of abilities, which includes intelligence and awareness of its surroundings. This particular Luggage has the behavior of something between a reprehensible family pet and a homicidal maniac. It is propelled forward by a multitude of tiny feet, which it can hide completely under itself at times to appear normal (it's cunning like that). The Luggage functions both as a travel case and a bodyguard, and will attack anything it perceives as threatening its owner.

WHAT THE HELL CAN IT DO?
The Luggage's primary purpose is to carry things, and has a multi-dimensional interior which makes it amazingly good at this. The Luggage can literally never be filled (although it has spat up things which upset it before, such as an extremely magical spell book), and whatever its owner places inside can be accessed upon their command. While at times the Luggage displays a terrifying maw, with "lots of big square teeth, white as sycamore, and a pulsating tongue, red as mahogany", sometimes all that's under its lid is just the base of a wooden box.

It is also:
. abnormally strong (can literally smash through walls not made of metal or stone)
. capable of following its owner anywhere (and that means anywhere)
. able to turn dirty laundry into folded, clean piles which smell vaguely of lavender

SO WAIT CAN IT EAT ME?
Terrifyingly, yes, the Luggage can eat people, and has been known to use this more than once to dispatch barbarians, monsters, slavers, thieves, sharks, demons, foul-tempered cats - whatever is currently upsetting it and can't take a hint. (Or run away quickly enough.)

WTF SO WHAT HAPPENS WHEN IT EATS ME?
Literally no one knows. The Luggage has purposefully carried (or not "digested", insomuch as a magical multi-dimensional box can have a digestive system) people before, so it can contain someone without harming them if it wishes, but no one has been able to say what is really inside there. Certainly not the people it has wanted to harm, and who are never heard from again once the Luggage slurps them up.

For the sake of not bringing too many dimensional rifts into the game, it will be assumed that those the Luggage wants to harm by eating them will in fact die, and can thus be reconstituted elsewhere by their nanites. (This will never happen without player discussion.)

DOES IT LIKE ANYBODY?
Oddly enough the Luggage seems to have a soft spot for women and children. It has never hurt a child in the books (actually saves a number of them and lets them ride on its lid when a tower catches fire), and it has been known to become besotted with strong and lovely ladies before. This soft spot would not stop it from hurting an adult woman who threatened it or its master, however.

I WANT TO KILL IT, CAN I KILL IT?
Killing the Luggage would be easier said than done. Sapient pearwood is impervious to all known forms of magic, can't be burned, and seems generally resistant to melee weapons as well. Someone with particularly clever powers might be able to work around this, but they're going to have a tough time of it, and as the Luggage counts as one of Rincewind's powers in the game it will eventually be reconstituted. ...And it will certainly be angry once it's back.

BUT IT KEEPS LOOKING AT ME FUNNY.
God, right? It's even creepier because it doesn't have eyes, but it's like it can glare through its keyhole or something, it's weird.

CAN I STEAL IT?
The attempt can certainly be made, if one is ambitious enough. Such an action would immediately drive it to try and kill said thief, but if one had the proper tools and the proper cage, it could certainly be held.

CAN I MAKE IT OBEY ME?
The short answer is "no". The Luggage is fiercely loyal to its owner, who in this case is Rincewind, and its magical compulsion to follow its owner would mean it would literally follow him into the afterlife after his passing (or in this game's case, at least hang about his body until he reconstitutes).

CAN I STEAL/THREATEN RINCEWIND AND MAKE HIM MAKE IT OBEY ME?
Yeah, probably, he's a giant coward with the strength of a broomstick, even if he is a wily bastard. So he could probably be coerced with enough applied pressure, or else put in such immediate danger that the Luggage would be forced to obey a command to avoid its master's death.

...Just, you know, make sure the Luggage can't get at you while you're doing that.

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Rincewind