wizzardly: Everything else is frippery. (Hat = Wizard & Wizard = Hat)
2020-12-06 03:16 pm

NAV.



STERCUS STERCUS STERCUS.
HMD

INFO

IC CONTACT

PERMISSIONS

THE LUGGAGE

CR CHART

TROPES

EXCERPTS

VISUALOSITIES


MORITURI NOLUMUS MORI

(WE WHO ARE ABOUT TO DIE DON'T WANT TO)
[Can you do a trick?]
"I've got a good one. It's a vanishing trick."
[Can you do it now?]
"Only if everyone opens all the doors and turns their backs." -Interesting Times


wizzardly: (Red star at night)
2018-04-14 04:59 pm
Entry tags:

Critique


"A soft sound made [Rincewind] look down. He'd almost stepped on a fish. It was some way from the water line, and squirming across the mud towards a pool of brackish water.
A kind man by nature, Rincewind picked it up gingerly and carried it back to the sea. It flopped around in the shallows for a while and then, to his amazement, inched its way back on to the mud.
He put it back again, in deeper water this time.
Thirty seconds later, it was back on the beach.
Rincewind crouched down, as the thing wiggled determinedly onwards.
'Would it help to talk to someone?' he said. 'I mean, you've got a good life out there in the sea, no sense in throwing it all away, is there? There's always a silver lining if you know where to look. Okay, okay, life's a beach. And you're a pretty ugly fish. But, you know, beauty is only sk-- scale deep, and...'" - The Science of Discworld

___

Questions? Comments? Concerns? This is the place to leave them! All comments are screened.
wizzardly: (THE LUGGAGE 3 (ELECTRIC BOOGALOO))
2016-03-22 08:26 pm
Entry tags:

Discworld Excerpts



[a collection of character important Discworld excerpts]
wizzardly: ("Because" said Rincewind vaguely)
2016-02-23 12:34 pm

CR CHART

[last edited 1/17]

[Are you a friend of his?]
"Well, we've met a couple of times and he didn't kill me," said Rincewind. "That probably counts as a yes." - The Last Hero


DANGER SCALE
(Twoflower) 0 - 10 (Luggage)




KITTY JONES
"I'm glad you turned out sweet, though."
DANGER LEVEL: 4






LUCIFER
"You're mine."
DANGER LEVEL: 10






MABEL PINES
"It's tough out there for us creative types!"
DANGER LEVEL: 1






L'ARACHEL
"I knew all along you had such goodness in your heart, you know."
DANGER LEVEL: 4






SASHA BLOUSE
"Being at a loss for your entire life sounds... unpleasant, though."
DANGER LEVEL: 3






DR. FREDERICK CHILTON
"At least you know that someone has your back. "
DANGER LEVEL: 1






MILES VORKOSIGAN
"I consider you a potential."
DANGER LEVEL: 6






BRIANNA, "THE BREEZE"
"Who are you to talk about what's normal? You have a giant suitcase with a tongue."
DANGER LEVEL: 4






DR. JONATHAN CRANE, "SCARECROW"
"What frightens you?"
DANGER LEVEL: 9






RIKU
"You looked like you were going to panic."
DANGER LEVEL: 4






SIX
"Hah, count me amazed. A wizard after all."
DANGER LEVEL: 5






MARIAN HAWKE
"Have you considered 'standing by' even farther than you're used to?"
DANGER LEVEL: 5






WILL GRAHAM
"You're part of our house."
DANGER LEVEL: 4







HOUOUJI FUU
"If you're always running away and [trouble] appears anyway, perhaps running towards it will make it go away."
DANGER LEVEL: 1







JAIME REYES, "BLUE BEETLE"
"Why decide to be a wizard? Why not a... oh, I don't know. An accountant."
DANGER LEVEL: 4






JEFFREY WINGER
"I know a sad, lonely man when I see one."
DANGER LEVEL: 3






DORIAN GRAY
Shows just how little you know to have fun."
DANGER LEVEL: 5






LORD PETYR BAELISH
"We could have been great allies, you and I."
DANGER LEVEL: 8






JAMES PATRICK MARCH
"Did I frighten you, dear?"
DANGER LEVEL: 4






FRANCIS URQUHART
"I think I have the same relationship with inactivity that you do, Rincewind."
DANGER LEVEL: 5






LADY KNIGHT KELADRY
"Would you like me to give you an idea of what [danger] looks like next time, to give you a running start?"
DANGER LEVEL: 4






HARLEEN QUINZEL, "HARLEY QUINN"
"Want to come over and take this off?"
DANGER LEVEL: 3






DEAN WINCHESTER
"Maybe I'm startin' to get why you're so damn unlucky."
DANGER LEVEL: 7






APRIL LUDGATE
"Dude, [you're fucked up, too]. It's why you came back to the house, I guess. It's what makes our house...our house."
DANGER LEVEL: 3






MARK PIERRE VORKOSIGAN
"You're one of the only sensible friends I have, too."
DANGER LEVEL: 3






JULIAN DAY, "CALENDAR MAN"
"Sarcasm. Unbecoming."
DANGER LEVEL: 7






RICHARD SWIFT, "THE SHADE"
"I'll admit, I'm somewhat fascinated."
DANGER LEVEL: 5






LEONARD SNART, "CAPTAIN COLD"
"I like unique. I like you. Relax. Trust me, when I insult you, you'll know."
DANGER LEVEL: 5






JORAH MORMONT
"Ever turned anyone into a frog?"
DANGER LEVEL: 5






HEMALI
"The coward, yes?"
DANGER LEVEL: 7






JAMES GIOVANNI DANGER JANEWAY JESSE, "THE TRICKSTER"
"I hope [your blouses] are comfortable and stylish!"
DANGER LEVEL: 6






RAINA
"I'm surprised. You seem like the type who would prefer things quiet."
DANGER LEVEL: 6






JACK
"I think you know what I was doing."
DANGER LEVEL: 10






HAEN HITHIEL
"These poor robes look like they've seen better days, dear."
DANGER LEVEL: 7






SIMON ILLYAN, "ARTHUR"
"You'll come back to yourself in fifteen seconds. Nothing about the last ten minutes will stand out as odd or out of place, and you won't remember it very well."
DANGER LEVEL: 4






KOMASAN
"You got my face in your pocket, zura!"
DANGER LEVEL: 3






BARTIMAEUS
"What era are you from that merits the extra letters in your hat. Is that a new fashion or just a lot of insecurity and poor embroidery? "
DANGER LEVEL: 6






REGGIE MANTLE
"God, why are you so freaking weird?"
DANGER LEVEL: 5






TBA
"QUOTE"
DANGER LEVEL: 5







TBA
"QUOTE"
DANGER LEVEL:

wizzardly: (Bugger.)
2016-02-19 06:29 pm
Entry tags:

TROPES

"This sort of thing happens to me all the time," said Rincewind. "One minute I'm falling off the world, then I'm inside a book, then I'm on a flying rock, then I'm watching Death learn how to play Weir or Dam or whatever it was, why should I wonder about anything?" - The Light Fantastic




"Look, this is real life. I mean, here you are, carrying around a box full of gold, don't you think anyone in their right minds would jump at the chance of pinching it?" I would, [Rincewind] added mentally-- if I hadn't seen what the Luggage does to prying fingers. - The Color of Magic
wizzardly: (THE LUGGAGE)
2016-02-06 11:46 pm

THE LUGGAGE


"The Luggage had a straightforward way of dealing with things between it and its intended destination: it ignored them."
- Faust Eric



WHAT THE HELL IS IT?
The Luggage is, literally, a large wooden trunk with solid gold hinges. It just also happens to be a wooden trunk carved out of sapient pearwood, one of the most magically-imbued materials on the whole of the Disc. This intense magical field has granted the Luggage a number of abilities, which includes intelligence and awareness of its surroundings. This particular Luggage has the behavior of something between a reprehensible family pet and a homicidal maniac. It is propelled forward by a multitude of tiny feet, which it can hide completely under itself at times to appear normal (it's cunning like that). The Luggage functions both as a travel case and a bodyguard, and will attack anything it perceives as threatening its owner.

WHAT THE HELL CAN IT DO?
The Luggage's primary purpose is to carry things, and has a multi-dimensional interior which makes it amazingly good at this. The Luggage can literally never be filled (although it has spat up things which upset it before, such as an extremely magical spell book), and whatever its owner places inside can be accessed upon their command. While at times the Luggage displays a terrifying maw, with "lots of big square teeth, white as sycamore, and a pulsating tongue, red as mahogany", sometimes all that's under its lid is just the base of a wooden box.

It is also:
. abnormally strong (can literally smash through walls not made of metal or stone)
. capable of following its owner anywhere (and that means anywhere)
. able to turn dirty laundry into folded, clean piles which smell vaguely of lavender

SO WAIT CAN IT EAT ME?
Terrifyingly, yes, the Luggage can eat people, and has been known to use this more than once to dispatch barbarians, monsters, slavers, thieves, sharks, demons, foul-tempered cats - whatever is currently upsetting it and can't take a hint. (Or run away quickly enough.)

WTF SO WHAT HAPPENS WHEN IT EATS ME?
Literally no one knows. The Luggage has purposefully carried (or not "digested", insomuch as a magical multi-dimensional box can have a digestive system) people before, so it can contain someone without harming them if it wishes, but no one has been able to say what is really inside there. Certainly not the people it has wanted to harm, and who are never heard from again once the Luggage slurps them up.

For the sake of not bringing too many dimensional rifts into the game, it will be assumed that those the Luggage wants to harm by eating them will in fact die, and can thus be reconstituted elsewhere by their nanites. (This will never happen without player discussion.)

DOES IT LIKE ANYBODY?
Oddly enough the Luggage seems to have a soft spot for women and children. It has never hurt a child in the books (actually saves a number of them and lets them ride on its lid when a tower catches fire), and it has been known to become besotted with strong and lovely ladies before. This soft spot would not stop it from hurting an adult woman who threatened it or its master, however.

I WANT TO KILL IT, CAN I KILL IT?
Killing the Luggage would be easier said than done. Sapient pearwood is impervious to all known forms of magic, can't be burned, and seems generally resistant to melee weapons as well. Someone with particularly clever powers might be able to work around this, but they're going to have a tough time of it, and as the Luggage counts as one of Rincewind's powers in the game it will eventually be reconstituted. ...And it will certainly be angry once it's back.

BUT IT KEEPS LOOKING AT ME FUNNY.
God, right? It's even creepier because it doesn't have eyes, but it's like it can glare through its keyhole or something, it's weird.

CAN I STEAL IT?
The attempt can certainly be made, if one is ambitious enough. Such an action would immediately drive it to try and kill said thief, but if one had the proper tools and the proper cage, it could certainly be held.

CAN I MAKE IT OBEY ME?
The short answer is "no". The Luggage is fiercely loyal to its owner, who in this case is Rincewind, and its magical compulsion to follow its owner would mean it would literally follow him into the afterlife after his passing (or in this game's case, at least hang about his body until he reconstitutes).

CAN I STEAL/THREATEN RINCEWIND AND MAKE HIM MAKE IT OBEY ME?
Yeah, probably, he's a giant coward with the strength of a broomstick, even if he is a wily bastard. So he could probably be coerced with enough applied pressure, or else put in such immediate danger that the Luggage would be forced to obey a command to avoid its master's death.

...Just, you know, make sure the Luggage can't get at you while you're doing that.
wizzardly: (Another fine mess)
2016-02-05 07:45 pm
Entry tags:

Permissions








INFO

 
RINCEWIND


HAIR COLOR: Red
EYE COLOR: Blue
SPECIES: Human; Wizard
AGE: 36 (?)
SEX & GENDER: Male
BUILD: Tall, skinny, lean muscle built from running.
MARKS: A collection of scars (most of them on his back).
CLOTHES: A tattered red robe, an equally tattered pointy hat with the word "WIZZARD" in sad, silver sequins
TALENTS: Languages, Running, Surviving, Magical Knowledge

"You're all missing the point. [Rincewind] survives. You keep on telling me he's had all these adventures and he's still alive."
"What do you mean? He's got scars all over him!"
"My point exactly, Dean. Most of 'em on his back, too. He leaves trouble behind. Someone Up There smiles on him."

Rincewind winced. He had always been aware that Someone Up There was doing something on him. He'd never considered it was smiling.
- Interesting Times



OOC PERMISSIONSIC PERMISSIONS

THREAD-JACKING
BACK-TAGGING
FOURTH-WALLING

PHYSICAL AFFECTION
PHYSICAL VIOLENCE
MIND-READING
TELEPATHY
SENSING EMOTIONS

POWERS:

Magic Sight: Can see set spells/curses/enchantments, and tell enchanted people/things (or those particularly magically imbued) from people/things which aren't. This will appear to Rincewind's vision in a glow of octarine, the color of magic.
UPDATE: Rincewind is now also able to see that an imPort's power has been placed on someone (such as an enchantment, a geas, extended hypnotism, or psychic/empathic links). This will appear to his vision as an octarine lock symbol on the imPort's person. He will have no way to identify what power was used, or which imPort used it.
 
Human Lockpick: Can undo, or "open" both physical (e.g. deadbolts, eye-readers, card swipers, etc.) and nonphysical (e.g. computer pass-codes, wards, enchanted seals, etc.) locks, provided he can both see and touch some physical aspect of it. More difficult locks will take more time to open.
UPDATE: The extension of Rincewind's "Magic Sight" ability means he will now be able to unlock any octarine 'lock' symbol, thus removing another imPort's ability from an affected person. This will never occur without prior permission.
 
The Luggage: A magical wooden chest on legs that follows Rincewind everywhere. Its FAQ is over here.
wizzardly: Just consider it? Just for a moment? (I don't suppose you'd just let me go?)
2016-02-05 07:00 pm
Entry tags:

IC CONTACT



VOICEMAIL:

"Er... yes, okay, I suppose I should tell you that if you're trying to reach me I'm not here, and if you're trying to reach me because you want to do something involving pointy bits of metal or otherwise painful objects, I'm never going to be here. So sorry."
wizzardly: Or so will I (Don't stop smiling)
2009-04-14 10:31 pm
Entry tags: