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Maybe i'm startin' to get why you're so damn unlucky.
[Chilton cleared his throat, looking into the wine puddle he left in his glass.]
A vestige of his former world, I imagine. It is... Unfortunate. But he is learning about modern propriety.
[More like Baelish didn't use his more unsavory implications to insult Chilton, unlike with Rincewind.]
I certainly hope fewer people are trying to kill you here than in your old world. Maybe that statistic alone would allow you to breathe a little easier? I daresay no one ought to deny you the happiness of coupling, should you want to pursue such a thing.
Not even Lucifer.
A vestige of his former world, I imagine. It is... Unfortunate. But he is learning about modern propriety.
[More like Baelish didn't use his more unsavory implications to insult Chilton, unlike with Rincewind.]
I certainly hope fewer people are trying to kill you here than in your old world. Maybe that statistic alone would allow you to breathe a little easier? I daresay no one ought to deny you the happiness of coupling, should you want to pursue such a thing.
Not even Lucifer.
Oh, yes. Whatever else, Lord Baelish is a quick study.
[and don't mind Rincewind, he'll just break the seal on this pizza box; the smell teased him the whole way over here.]
Mmm, not kill, no. ...I don't think. [he gives a philosophical wave of his pizza slice, follows it with another drink of wine.] I mean, I did get chased onto a roof by a demon last week, gods knows what could have happened there, but mostly this world has been a whole mess of other dangers. I also suppose I've some dubious protection now, at least where death's concerned.
So, you know. Perhaps. [he swipes his sleeve over his mouth, swallowing another bite.] Jeff has convinced himself he's going to set me on some sort of date. I don't suppose I can hide here if he sends some monstrous thug to my door for a laugh?
[and don't mind Rincewind, he'll just break the seal on this pizza box; the smell teased him the whole way over here.]
Mmm, not kill, no. ...I don't think. [he gives a philosophical wave of his pizza slice, follows it with another drink of wine.] I mean, I did get chased onto a roof by a demon last week, gods knows what could have happened there, but mostly this world has been a whole mess of other dangers. I also suppose I've some dubious protection now, at least where death's concerned.
So, you know. Perhaps. [he swipes his sleeve over his mouth, swallowing another bite.] Jeff has convinced himself he's going to set me on some sort of date. I don't suppose I can hide here if he sends some monstrous thug to my door for a laugh?
[Some dubious protection now. Of course, Chilton thought Lucifer initially -- but a moment later, he realized that it was quite possible that Rincewind was speaking of the psychiatrist. Given their interactions as of late, at least.
More reason to underscore dubious.]
I doubt that Winger would even speak to a monstrous thug, much less play matchmaker to one. [Said Chilton, after a thoughtful poke at the pizza. He frowned at it, as if contemplating grabbing a knife and fork.
He decided against it.]
Anticipate your date to be at least moderately attractive.
[A beat.]
What was that about a demon?
More reason to underscore dubious.]
I doubt that Winger would even speak to a monstrous thug, much less play matchmaker to one. [Said Chilton, after a thoughtful poke at the pizza. He frowned at it, as if contemplating grabbing a knife and fork.
He decided against it.]
Anticipate your date to be at least moderately attractive.
[A beat.]
What was that about a demon?
Really? That's something, I suppose.
[The wizard's still convinced this is going to be some gigantic prank against him, of course, but narrowing the avenues of how is helpful.
(And he may be surreptitiously watching Chilton to make sure the man doesn't hate the pizza he got him. Just to make sure.)]
I didn't get his name. Saw some terribly magical rune on his arm, he preferred we talk about my noticing it and I preferred we not, I ran, he chased me, then we ended up on a roof and had a bit of a chat before the Luggage came. Rather tame, all things considered.
...Is the pizza all right? [unable to keep from asking.] I told them not to put meat on half for you.
[The wizard's still convinced this is going to be some gigantic prank against him, of course, but narrowing the avenues of how is helpful.
(And he may be surreptitiously watching Chilton to make sure the man doesn't hate the pizza he got him. Just to make sure.)]
I didn't get his name. Saw some terribly magical rune on his arm, he preferred we talk about my noticing it and I preferred we not, I ran, he chased me, then we ended up on a roof and had a bit of a chat before the Luggage came. Rather tame, all things considered.
...Is the pizza all right? [unable to keep from asking.] I told them not to put meat on half for you.
Oh -- yes, yes. I just. [A beat.] My hands are so clean.
[Something Frederick Chilton so rarely got to say, surely he could savor this moment. But, perhaps begrudgingly, he picked up a non-meaty slice at the crust and pinched it between two fingers.]
Rather tame, you say. But what if there's some reprisal? I know you've already thought of that.
[Something Frederick Chilton so rarely got to say, surely he could savor this moment. But, perhaps begrudgingly, he picked up a non-meaty slice at the crust and pinched it between two fingers.]
Rather tame, you say. But what if there's some reprisal? I know you've already thought of that.
[Rincewind only smiles, just pleased that he hasn't failed Chilton in some massive way, like having them put a mushroom he's allergic to on there or something.]
He teleported away before the Luggage could maim him, so there isn't exactly much to reprise against. [looking back, he's still not sure exactly how all that happened, or what Dean thought he knew.] The Luggage will deal with him if he somehow finds me and tries something.
Why is it you don't eat meat? [abrupt, but it's a question he's had since Raina explained vegetarianism to him.] Do you really not like it?
He teleported away before the Luggage could maim him, so there isn't exactly much to reprise against. [looking back, he's still not sure exactly how all that happened, or what Dean thought he knew.] The Luggage will deal with him if he somehow finds me and tries something.
Why is it you don't eat meat? [abrupt, but it's a question he's had since Raina explained vegetarianism to him.] Do you really not like it?
Oh the contrary, I rather miss meat.
[Ripe for innuendo, thank goodness Jeff wasn't invited.]
But I can't digest animal proteins to the same capacity as I could, previously. I... had a kidney removed. Involuntary. Along with some intestinal tract.
[Chilton stuck out his tongue, guiding the tip of the pizza towards it.]
They were taken from me.
[Ripe for innuendo, thank goodness Jeff wasn't invited.]
But I can't digest animal proteins to the same capacity as I could, previously. I... had a kidney removed. Involuntary. Along with some intestinal tract.
[Chilton stuck out his tongue, guiding the tip of the pizza towards it.]
They were taken from me.
[luckily Rincewind has already finished his first slice, because he doubts he'll be able to get another down now. He's torn between watching Chilton eat like a man who has never held food before and processing the outrageous, distressing claim the man just made regarding the state of his innards.]
In- Involuntary? Someone really - ?
[oh gods. Oh gods. Rincewind's features squirm in a nauseated expression, trying dearly not to imagine it.]
Was it... here? Or in your world?
In- Involuntary? Someone really - ?
[oh gods. Oh gods. Rincewind's features squirm in a nauseated expression, trying dearly not to imagine it.]
Was it... here? Or in your world?
In my world. [He tactfully decided to gloss over the fact that Abel Gideon had gotten his hands on Chilton twice, once in Baltimore and once in Heropa. The latter didn't involve organ removal, however.
Gideon had surgically cut off bits of Chilton's face and replaced it with metal cogs. Like wind-up clockwork.]
Baltimore is, apparently, an unusually violent place. I've been comparing data between mine and this one regarding serial killers -- while they exist in both, mine seemed to have more psychopaths diffused into the populace.
[A light shrug followed.]
If, ah, if it had happened here. The damage isn't necessarily permanent. Between healers and the homeworld default.
But every time I export back home and return, I will have my kidney missing again. Bit traumatic, actually.
Gideon had surgically cut off bits of Chilton's face and replaced it with metal cogs. Like wind-up clockwork.]
Baltimore is, apparently, an unusually violent place. I've been comparing data between mine and this one regarding serial killers -- while they exist in both, mine seemed to have more psychopaths diffused into the populace.
[A light shrug followed.]
If, ah, if it had happened here. The damage isn't necessarily permanent. Between healers and the homeworld default.
But every time I export back home and return, I will have my kidney missing again. Bit traumatic, actually.
I'll avoid any visits then. [and he can't help but think again that Chilton would have less issues if he weren't so keen on treating psychopaths. Rincewind guesses there's at least a sixty percent chance the person who took the liberty of liberating his organs was a patient.
But those aren't helpful thoughts - certainly not for the man who's gone through something so horrific.]
A bit traumatic? That's a bit of an understatement, isn't it? I don't think I'd ever leave my room again if I'd gone through something like that. So you - you haven't had it healed since coming back then? That or your, well, your other injury? The one from the assault you mentioned?
But those aren't helpful thoughts - certainly not for the man who's gone through something so horrific.]
A bit traumatic? That's a bit of an understatement, isn't it? I don't think I'd ever leave my room again if I'd gone through something like that. So you - you haven't had it healed since coming back then? That or your, well, your other injury? The one from the assault you mentioned?
[Reflexively, Chilton's hand went to the left side of his face -- the cheek that had a bullet penetrate it. His prosthetics were fit in nicely, snugly, his face looked perfectly normal, but he couldn't help his flinching at the allusion.
Rincewind had known, at least vaguely, about it. Chilton had taken the allergy medicine quite keenly.]
We reset when we return home -- so to speak. From what I have observed. Typically our memories remain, yes, but not always -- and much less the physical discrepancies. Our original timeline has some sort of precedence.
[He finished off his glass and poured another one.]
I don't want to suffer that loss again.
Rincewind had known, at least vaguely, about it. Chilton had taken the allergy medicine quite keenly.]
We reset when we return home -- so to speak. From what I have observed. Typically our memories remain, yes, but not always -- and much less the physical discrepancies. Our original timeline has some sort of precedence.
[He finished off his glass and poured another one.]
I don't want to suffer that loss again.
But can we really call it a night without the cuddling?
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