![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Entry tags:
IC CONTACT
VOICEMAIL:
VOICEMAIL:
Ferret, well. [Chilton could tell it was a compliment, mostly but the contextual evidence that Rincewind had so kindly and wisely provided. He raised his empty glass in gratitude, dipping his chin to complement the motion.] That is both lovely logic and a fine conclusion.
[With noticeably quivering legs, Chilton dared to stand.]
Would you feel comfortable staying the night? We have a guest room. I would be more -- more than happy to ensure you rest well.
[Said Chilton, with a wiggle of his fingers.]
[With noticeably quivering legs, Chilton dared to stand.]
Would you feel comfortable staying the night? We have a guest room. I would be more -- more than happy to ensure you rest well.
[Said Chilton, with a wiggle of his fingers.]
That doesn't count, you're married.
[says Rincewind the wizard, obvious expert on love and relationships due to his many years of experience.
Despite his face's valiant attempt to maintain a look of skepticism, it's plain how quickly Rincewind takes that little positive encouragement to heart. Embarrassingly quickly, really. Rincewind glances away if only to keep his smile from being too obvious.
It's more that the wizard has become used to being a fool in front of people than it is that he's all right with it, but either way Will is one of the last people he'd want to see him that way. Rincewind respects him too much, is secretly too enamored by the man's ability to seem so naturally, calmly compassionate.]
Well, yes, I think I would. Why not? She's worth getting to know. And as a bonus it should save me from Jeff taking another shot at blind matchmaking. Not the sort of thing to trust to luck twice, after all.
Any ideas on places to go?
[says Rincewind the wizard, obvious expert on love and relationships due to his many years of experience.
Despite his face's valiant attempt to maintain a look of skepticism, it's plain how quickly Rincewind takes that little positive encouragement to heart. Embarrassingly quickly, really. Rincewind glances away if only to keep his smile from being too obvious.
It's more that the wizard has become used to being a fool in front of people than it is that he's all right with it, but either way Will is one of the last people he'd want to see him that way. Rincewind respects him too much, is secretly too enamored by the man's ability to seem so naturally, calmly compassionate.]
Well, yes, I think I would. Why not? She's worth getting to know. And as a bonus it should save me from Jeff taking another shot at blind matchmaking. Not the sort of thing to trust to luck twice, after all.
Any ideas on places to go?
[Praise that goes as quickly to Rincewind's head as the wine; he grins his triumph.
The idea of going to bed is absolutely lovely, though, and a long time coming. Rincewind gets his long limbs sorted out well enough to straighten and stand as well.]
Absolutely. [with a cheerful nod, shoving aside a moment's concern that any bed Chilton offers him will match the styling of the rest of his furniture - that is to say, lacking comfort or a noticeable intention for human use.] I would never turn down your magic fingers.
[a beat.]
...Which, erm, sounded better in my head, I think.
The idea of going to bed is absolutely lovely, though, and a long time coming. Rincewind gets his long limbs sorted out well enough to straighten and stand as well.]
Absolutely. [with a cheerful nod, shoving aside a moment's concern that any bed Chilton offers him will match the styling of the rest of his furniture - that is to say, lacking comfort or a noticeable intention for human use.] I would never turn down your magic fingers.
[a beat.]
...Which, erm, sounded better in my head, I think.
Edited 2016-06-29 16:25 (UTC)
[Well, Will doesn't bother to hide his smile.]
That's when it counts the most. Biggest killer of marriage is when you stop dating each other. [And Hannibal Lecter, but he isn't here so it's all Will's fault if things go south. Just what he wanted.] She reminds me of April, more I think about it. Kind of person who can have fun anywhere.
[A compliment of the highest order. April is still hotter than Harley though.]
You've already had dinner...went to a burlesque, so that's. She might appreciate theater more than any movie. You could go see a play or a musical. [A dirty one, maybe. At least one with some boobs on stage. Oh! Naked theater, yes, but he'll leave that up to Harley to suggest. Or just, like, drag Rincewind to with no warning.] You ever been bowling?
That's when it counts the most. Biggest killer of marriage is when you stop dating each other. [And Hannibal Lecter, but he isn't here so it's all Will's fault if things go south. Just what he wanted.] She reminds me of April, more I think about it. Kind of person who can have fun anywhere.
[A compliment of the highest order. April is still hotter than Harley though.]
You've already had dinner...went to a burlesque, so that's. She might appreciate theater more than any movie. You could go see a play or a musical. [A dirty one, maybe. At least one with some boobs on stage. Oh! Naked theater, yes, but he'll leave that up to Harley to suggest. Or just, like, drag Rincewind to with no warning.] You ever been bowling?
Perhaps it was lucky that Raina didn't hear you say that.
[Chilton didn't believe his own words, of course; nothing was lucky about Raina being exported. But it was all he could do, to cling to those whispers of humor.]
... But my fingers appreciate the praise, regardless. Come on, now.
[The closest he could come to saying thank you, Rincewind for the good company and proper, non-box wine.]
[Chilton didn't believe his own words, of course; nothing was lucky about Raina being exported. But it was all he could do, to cling to those whispers of humor.]
... But my fingers appreciate the praise, regardless. Come on, now.
[The closest he could come to saying thank you, Rincewind for the good company and proper, non-box wine.]
There are plenty of things to campaign still. The changes I promised within Maurtia Falls, for one. You did not seriously believe you would be free from your duties so soon, did you? Your services are mine until I no longer require them.
Unless you would rather I go to Lucifer and acquire his services instead.
Unless you would rather I go to Lucifer and acquire his services instead.
[until he gets bored of tormenting him, Baelish means. Rincewind's sure of that now. It had been a far-flung hope in the first place, but now the wizard's staring at the smashed remnants on the ground and resignedly looking for a dustpan.]
Right. Shall I fire up the copier then?
Right. Shall I fire up the copier then?
[hopefully he's made the home just a little easier to sleep in tonight for Chilton. Rincewind knows it will be for him, pleased to follow Chilton to whatever guest room the man has in mind.
(But if there are low windows anywhere, a certain many-legged guardian may spend the night perched outside them, staring woodenly inside, brooding as best as a travel accessory can.)]
(But if there are low windows anywhere, a certain many-legged guardian may spend the night perched outside them, staring woodenly inside, brooding as best as a travel accessory can.)]
Less scary, though.
[but then that's not exactly a huge distinction - it is April they're talking about.]
Theater? [the wizard nods slowly. That could be an idea. They could see a show with more clothing this time around, or at least less body paint.] I've no idea what "bowling" is though, no. Is it... pottery based? I'm not much good with art.
[but then that's not exactly a huge distinction - it is April they're talking about.]
Theater? [the wizard nods slowly. That could be an idea. They could see a show with more clothing this time around, or at least less body paint.] I've no idea what "bowling" is though, no. Is it... pottery based? I'm not much good with art.
No, it's... [That is a cute as fuck assumption, though, Jesus Christ.] A sport. Sort of. Anyone can do it, though. There's no running or jumping or anything like that. Special shoes is all you need. There's, ah.
[He moves to gesture, make a better picture.]
Pins at the end of a lane. And you're at the other end with a weighted ball. You roll it down the lane and try to knock all the pins over within so many turns.
[He moves to gesture, make a better picture.]
Pins at the end of a lane. And you're at the other end with a weighted ball. You roll it down the lane and try to knock all the pins over within so many turns.
No need. Take this day as a chance to celebrate our victory. I will be having a dinner tonight at Maurtia Falls. You are invited, of course. Doctor Chilton will be there as well.
[ And Baelish does so want Rincewind to see how much Chilton is sucking up to him now that he's in a position of power. ]
[ And Baelish does so want Rincewind to see how much Chilton is sucking up to him now that he's in a position of power. ]
Special shoes?
[congratulations, Will - today is the day historians will mark as the day Rincewind was introduced to the concept of bowling, and thus the day which began his inevitable infatuation with bowling shoes. It's nearly time to trade in his beaten sandals for good.]
Well, that all sounds... [rather boring, actually, and safe, and thus an activity he's immediately interested in.] ...perfect. I'll bring it up her to her. Thank you, Will. Perhaps you, April, and Jeff could come along as well?
[congratulations, Will - today is the day historians will mark as the day Rincewind was introduced to the concept of bowling, and thus the day which began his inevitable infatuation with bowling shoes. It's nearly time to trade in his beaten sandals for good.]
Well, that all sounds... [rather boring, actually, and safe, and thus an activity he's immediately interested in.] ...perfect. I'll bring it up her to her. Thank you, Will. Perhaps you, April, and Jeff could come along as well?
[When their shoe rack by the door is a mix of flip flops, sneakers, and bowling shoes (likely stolen if they all go out), Will is going to have Feelings every time he looks at it. But that's for later. Now, though, he's smiling, pleased Rincewind likes the idea so much.]
I'm sure we could swing something. [The raccoons come along. The raccoons smoke everyone else at bowling. Jeff and Eduardo spark a rivalry the likes no one has seen before. It sounds perfect.] Some bowling alleys have beer, too, so it's pretty good place to be, win or lose.
[how the fuck does he segue into wrapped willies
gods give him strength]
I'm sure we could swing something. [The raccoons come along. The raccoons smoke everyone else at bowling. Jeff and Eduardo spark a rivalry the likes no one has seen before. It sounds perfect.] Some bowling alleys have beer, too, so it's pretty good place to be, win or lose.
[how the fuck does he segue into wrapped willies
gods give him strength]
Then I suppose you would much prefer a private celebration on Doctor Chilton's yacht. He had extended the invitation to me last month -- since you and I are getting along so well, he hoped that we could have an enjoyable time. Together. The three of us.
All the best places seem to.
[and cue an awkward, expectant pause. Rincewind literally twiddles his thumbs, glancing around.]
...Right, so. Thanks again for the advice. I do appreciate it coming from you. - Not that I'm not fond of April or Jeff, of course, but they do have different methods. You know.
[they tease him mercilessly, he means.]
[and cue an awkward, expectant pause. Rincewind literally twiddles his thumbs, glancing around.]
...Right, so. Thanks again for the advice. I do appreciate it coming from you. - Not that I'm not fond of April or Jeff, of course, but they do have different methods. You know.
[they tease him mercilessly, he means.]
Actually I declined at first. Postponed it for the month as best as I could with the excuse of the campaign.
[ The one thing they can both agree upon is the fact that they don't want to do this. ]
But inevitably I cannot cut you out of his life, and you cannot cut me out either. Perhaps our best course of action is to play nice for his outing. Such an action would strategically keep him happiest.
[ The one thing they can both agree upon is the fact that they don't want to do this. ]
But inevitably I cannot cut you out of his life, and you cannot cut me out either. Perhaps our best course of action is to play nice for his outing. Such an action would strategically keep him happiest.
[Jeff. Ah, yes. Will puts his hands in his lap and his shoulders slouch, a little more than uncomfortable. Trying to figure out the best way to approach the actual reason he's here. Or maybe he should just call this a job well done and leave? God, it's tempting. So very, very tempting.
After a few seconds of silence...]
Yeah. I know. [There is no segue to save him. So he just spits it out.] So you're not—you're not really aware of what safe sex is or entails, is that right?
[this is the most normal]
After a few seconds of silence...]
Yeah. I know. [There is no segue to save him. So he just spits it out.] So you're not—you're not really aware of what safe sex is or entails, is that right?
[this is the most normal]
What, and just keep him between us like some sort of living... buffer?
[nothing about this sounds like a good idea. This is all going to end in flames, he can already smell the smoke.]
...Well, I'm not going to be the reason it doesn't happen. You can't blame this on me.
[Rincewind defiantly swallows the urge to ask what a yacht is. He'll look it up later - preferably with something that won't call him ignorant for not knowing.]
[nothing about this sounds like a good idea. This is all going to end in flames, he can already smell the smoke.]
...Well, I'm not going to be the reason it doesn't happen. You can't blame this on me.
[Rincewind defiantly swallows the urge to ask what a yacht is. He'll look it up later - preferably with something that won't call him ignorant for not knowing.]
[there's a long, uncomfortable, blinking silence. Even the Luggage seems to be staring at Will now.]
...Safe... sex. Ah. N...o. I'm not - entirely sure what you mean by that.
[Rincewind shoots the door a momentary, flickered glance.]
I'm guessing you don't mean making sure you aren't, er, near a cliff or something, at the time?
...Safe... sex. Ah. N...o. I'm not - entirely sure what you mean by that.
[Rincewind shoots the door a momentary, flickered glance.]
I'm guessing you don't mean making sure you aren't, er, near a cliff or something, at the time?
[Will laughs, short but genuine. No bitterness. What an example, really.]
No, no. Good idea, though. Easy to fall off cliffs when you're...compromised. [Just ask Hannibal Lecter. Or don't.] No, there's. There are methods now to keep partners who share intimacy safe. Not just from unwanted, unexpected pregnancies if between man and woman, but from possible disease. Might sound like a lot but it's not really too complicated. If you were ever...
[Interested? Hm. He's not really sure the best way to go about this past letting Rincewind know it's A Thing. Sure, Will can talk about it, but this is already something of an ambush. Would Rincewind remember it all? Would he just associate sex safe with awkward conversations and write off sex of any sort because of the awkward, traumatic memories?]
...curious about how it all works, then we can talk. Or find some good information you can read up on. It's not discussed when you get here. But it's likely good to know. Be informed. Just in case.
[Suddenly glad he cliff'd it on out before Wally got to a certain age. Not that it would be the same, really, with the Internet and all, but.]
No, no. Good idea, though. Easy to fall off cliffs when you're...compromised. [Just ask Hannibal Lecter. Or don't.] No, there's. There are methods now to keep partners who share intimacy safe. Not just from unwanted, unexpected pregnancies if between man and woman, but from possible disease. Might sound like a lot but it's not really too complicated. If you were ever...
[Interested? Hm. He's not really sure the best way to go about this past letting Rincewind know it's A Thing. Sure, Will can talk about it, but this is already something of an ambush. Would Rincewind remember it all? Would he just associate sex safe with awkward conversations and write off sex of any sort because of the awkward, traumatic memories?]
...curious about how it all works, then we can talk. Or find some good information you can read up on. It's not discussed when you get here. But it's likely good to know. Be informed. Just in case.
[Suddenly glad he cliff'd it on out before Wally got to a certain age. Not that it would be the same, really, with the Internet and all, but.]
[he is so confused about how they got here. Rincewind tries to retrace his mental steps, but eventually he's left scratching his head and going "No, no idea where it went wrong, but we've just fallen off the map completely here".
It's awkward, of course.
He fidgets.
A senior wizard might have already clutched at their chest from a heart attack (or clutched at it anyway in order to fake one) from all this talk of compromising. Rincewind has a little more experience than the senior faculty, thankfully, but damned if his face isn't already dangerously close to the shade of his hair.]
Right, um. [Will won't push the subject with him if he asks the man not to, he's sure. ...Pretty sure. But admittedly, Rincewind is a little curious about one point in particular.]
You... did say something about diseases, just then?
[Rincewind is (against his will) a worldly man; he knows sailors pick up things, and they get it from somewhere, and the herbalists of Ankh-Morpork tend to specialize in anti-itch creams for a reason.
But this is a new world. A new wide, scary world.
What if what they have here is even worse?]
It's awkward, of course.
He fidgets.
A senior wizard might have already clutched at their chest from a heart attack (or clutched at it anyway in order to fake one) from all this talk of compromising. Rincewind has a little more experience than the senior faculty, thankfully, but damned if his face isn't already dangerously close to the shade of his hair.]
Right, um. [Will won't push the subject with him if he asks the man not to, he's sure. ...Pretty sure. But admittedly, Rincewind is a little curious about one point in particular.]
You... did say something about diseases, just then?
[Rincewind is (against his will) a worldly man; he knows sailors pick up things, and they get it from somewhere, and the herbalists of Ankh-Morpork tend to specialize in anti-itch creams for a reason.
But this is a new world. A new wide, scary world.
What if what they have here is even worse?]
Page 28 of 49