"Er... yes, okay, I suppose I should tell you that if you're trying to reach me I'm not here, and if you're trying to reach me because you want to do something involving pointy bits of metal or otherwise painful objects, I'm never going to be here. So sorry."
No need. Take this day as a chance to celebrate our victory. I will be having a dinner tonight at Maurtia Falls. You are invited, of course. Doctor Chilton will be there as well.
[ And Baelish does so want Rincewind to see how much Chilton is sucking up to him now that he's in a position of power. ]
Then I suppose you would much prefer a private celebration on Doctor Chilton's yacht. He had extended the invitation to me last month -- since you and I are getting along so well, he hoped that we could have an enjoyable time. Together. The three of us.
Actually I declined at first. Postponed it for the month as best as I could with the excuse of the campaign.
[ The one thing they can both agree upon is the fact that they don't want to do this. ]
But inevitably I cannot cut you out of his life, and you cannot cut me out either. Perhaps our best course of action is to play nice for his outing. Such an action would strategically keep him happiest.
What, and just keep him between us like some sort of living... buffer?
[nothing about this sounds like a good idea. This is all going to end in flames, he can already smell the smoke.]
...Well, I'm not going to be the reason it doesn't happen. You can't blame this on me.
[Rincewind defiantly swallows the urge to ask what a yacht is. He'll look it up later - preferably with something that won't call him ignorant for not knowing.]
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[ And Baelish does so want Rincewind to see how much Chilton is sucking up to him now that he's in a position of power. ]
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[like being literally anywhere else than celebrating his enemy's victory while he watches his closest friend mooch with him.]
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But he's absolutely sure he doesn't want to be on one with Lord Baelish.]
And you were agreeable to that, were you?
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[ The one thing they can both agree upon is the fact that they don't want to do this. ]
But inevitably I cannot cut you out of his life, and you cannot cut me out either. Perhaps our best course of action is to play nice for his outing. Such an action would strategically keep him happiest.
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[nothing about this sounds like a good idea. This is all going to end in flames, he can already smell the smoke.]
...Well, I'm not going to be the reason it doesn't happen. You can't blame this on me.
[Rincewind defiantly swallows the urge to ask what a yacht is. He'll look it up later - preferably with something that won't call him ignorant for not knowing.]
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[ Because really, what choice did Rincewind have? It was either that or look like the bad guy. ]
Who knows. Perhaps he will provide more than enough drink for you to mildly enjoy yourself.
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Enjoy your celebration in the meantime.