"Er... yes, okay, I suppose I should tell you that if you're trying to reach me I'm not here, and if you're trying to reach me because you want to do something involving pointy bits of metal or otherwise painful objects, I'm never going to be here. So sorry."
What, and just keep him between us like some sort of living... buffer?
[nothing about this sounds like a good idea. This is all going to end in flames, he can already smell the smoke.]
...Well, I'm not going to be the reason it doesn't happen. You can't blame this on me.
[Rincewind defiantly swallows the urge to ask what a yacht is. He'll look it up later - preferably with something that won't call him ignorant for not knowing.]
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[nothing about this sounds like a good idea. This is all going to end in flames, he can already smell the smoke.]
...Well, I'm not going to be the reason it doesn't happen. You can't blame this on me.
[Rincewind defiantly swallows the urge to ask what a yacht is. He'll look it up later - preferably with something that won't call him ignorant for not knowing.]
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[ Because really, what choice did Rincewind have? It was either that or look like the bad guy. ]
Who knows. Perhaps he will provide more than enough drink for you to mildly enjoy yourself.
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Enjoy your celebration in the meantime.