"Er... yes, okay, I suppose I should tell you that if you're trying to reach me I'm not here, and if you're trying to reach me because you want to do something involving pointy bits of metal or otherwise painful objects, I'm never going to be here. So sorry."
[how do you lead a horse to water that has never seen a river?]
It's... a bit different. [patiently.] Bit worse, actually. Perhaps look it up on your device later? - But anyway, I was only thinking perhaps you could get through to him. Preach a bit, maybe. Er. Tell him how great serving the Light is.
[or what...ever it is priestess princesses do. As long as it will annoy the man to no end, Rincewind will be satisfied.]
You would have to be subtle, of course. If you mention me he'll know what you're up to and will refuse your help. But I do think you're one of the only people who could. ...Unless you know some other noble women who might lend their aid?
Worse, you say? Oh my. I never would have guessed that such a horrid vice could tarnish the soul of such a noble Lord!
But fear not! It is as I have said: I am a healer of the highest calibre, and that goes for souls as well as bodies! No one could possibly be better suited to this task. I shall guide him back onto the path of righteousness, or my name isn't L'Arachel, beautiful banisher of darkness!
--Now, are you quite certain he would reject aid if he knew you were involved? I would dearly love to invite him along to some of our upcoming dinners...
[lucky this is voice, because there's no way Rincewind could hope to disguise the look of malevolent glee taking over his lips.]
And it's a shame, it really is, but he's convinced himself I'm out to get him. I'm afraid I'll just have to keep my distance for the sake of his healing. It's quite the sacrifice, I know, but it's one I'm willing to make. For him.
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It's... a bit different. [patiently.] Bit worse, actually. Perhaps look it up on your device later? - But anyway, I was only thinking perhaps you could get through to him. Preach a bit, maybe. Er. Tell him how great serving the Light is.
[or what...ever it is priestess princesses do. As long as it will annoy the man to no end, Rincewind will be satisfied.]
You would have to be subtle, of course. If you mention me he'll know what you're up to and will refuse your help. But I do think you're one of the only people who could. ...Unless you know some other noble women who might lend their aid?
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But fear not! It is as I have said: I am a healer of the highest calibre, and that goes for souls as well as bodies! No one could possibly be better suited to this task. I shall guide him back onto the path of righteousness, or my name isn't L'Arachel, beautiful banisher of darkness!
--Now, are you quite certain he would reject aid if he knew you were involved? I would dearly love to invite him along to some of our upcoming dinners...
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[lucky this is voice, because there's no way Rincewind could hope to disguise the look of malevolent glee taking over his lips.]
And it's a shame, it really is, but he's convinced himself I'm out to get him. I'm afraid I'll just have to keep my distance for the sake of his healing. It's quite the sacrifice, I know, but it's one I'm willing to make. For him.
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[Rincewind you are horrible and you should feel horrible.]
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I've nothing but faith that you'll drag him back to health, no matter how that lying, demon drug addiction fights you. Gods bless you, princess.
See you this weekend for dinner.