"Er... yes, okay, I suppose I should tell you that if you're trying to reach me I'm not here, and if you're trying to reach me because you want to do something involving pointy bits of metal or otherwise painful objects, I'm never going to be here. So sorry."
[Rincewind swallows an incriminating squeak of fear and covers it with a cough. There is a very strong urge to hide under the thin covers of his motel bed. He doesn't, but the wizard does tug his hat down like he can fold himself into it.]
I'm sure this can be talked about. Talked over? Off-offerings made, perhaps?
I don't do offerings, Rincewind. That's so Old Testament. Actually, I'm not very New Testament, either. All of this forgive thy neighbour crap. I'm not really about that, either.
What I am about, little wizard, is my things, my way. And you have taken one of my things.
So tell me, what should we do about this? What would be fair?
"Taken" seems a strong word, very strong. We're not even really close, he and I, it was really almost accidental how the whole thing came about. [talking quickly now.] I doubt I'll ever even be involved in his things again, really, I've already turned down his offer to join his - his army or security group or whatever he's calling it, so I won't be of any future concern to you, I really won't. You'll probably forget all about me, forget my name even, people will be like "Do you know that Rincewind fellow?" and you'll be all "Who the hell is that?" Only, er, maybe you won't say it quite like that, I don't know if you say "hell" like that since you rule it, and all.
[...he's aware he's gotten off track somewhere. There's a nervous pause.]
But I could... give you something back, maybe? Something that is, ah, not my blood or life leaving my body.
Funny thing, I was actually thinking of staying away for a while, seeing the sights, big new world and all, but I will happily mail whatever it is you decide is a worthy trade. I'll pay the extra shipping, even.
Better throw yourself in the box then, Rincewind. It's you I want.
No, not your body and not your blood, but your obedience and your service. You won't swear yourself to Miles Vorkosigan--that's fine. You can swear yourself to me instead. It's very simple.
[but that's not something I can do, Rincewind wants to wail.
That's the point though, isn't it? Showing there are some things you can't take back. Actions have consequences - how many times has the wizard snarled that same sentiment at others?]
I could promise to keep running. Just never come back. I'm not even on the same side of the country right now, you would never hear from me again. [in Arizona, actually, although he doesn't want to say that out loud.] Wouldn't that mean just as much as whatever contract you'd have me sign or swear to?
It - it will take a few days. I don't have the money for a plane, you know, and there are various things to do first, pack and, um, take - take a shower and things.
[can he run? If he goes now maybe he can reach the Mexican border by morning, the Luggage can take him some of the way if it has to...]
Me? Run? When we've managed to reach such a bloodless agreement over this terrible misunderstanding? Wouldn't dream of it, I'm hurt you'd even imagine I would.
...But. Ah. What do you mean by that?
i was wondering if this was not too direct and i sincerely apologize if it is i do not want to impose will and april are very good people and i think they like you a lot and their house is very big with lots of space
[holy shit what is this weird well of emotions, where did those come from? Excuse the wizard a moment as he stamps this unexpected grab-bag of flickering expressions and tight-chested feelings down, absolutely baffled.]
but I'm not a child anymore. that's something they want? Why are you the one asking?
they dont know i am asking but its because well theyre....... april and will are important to me and even jeff is a nice man there used to be so many people in that house and everyones gone and they seem... lonely but i do not want to force you to do anything you do not want to either
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wizzardly
no subject
Date: 2016-04-13 04:03 pm (UTC)[Rincewind swallows an incriminating squeak of fear and covers it with a cough. There is a very strong urge to hide under the thin covers of his motel bed. He doesn't, but the wizard does tug his hat down like he can fold himself into it.]
I'm sure this can be talked about. Talked over? Off-offerings made, perhaps?
no subject
Date: 2016-04-13 04:50 pm (UTC)What I am about, little wizard, is my things, my way. And you have taken one of my things.
So tell me, what should we do about this? What would be fair?
no subject
Date: 2016-04-13 05:22 pm (UTC)[...he's aware he's gotten off track somewhere. There's a nervous pause.]
But I could... give you something back, maybe? Something that is, ah, not my blood or life leaving my body.
...Please.
no subject
Date: 2016-04-13 05:30 pm (UTC)Are you going to turn around and come back to me, little wizard, or do I have to come and fetch you myself?
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Date: 2016-04-13 05:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-04-13 06:47 pm (UTC)No, not your body and not your blood, but your obedience and your service. You won't swear yourself to Miles Vorkosigan--that's fine. You can swear yourself to me instead. It's very simple.
no subject
Date: 2016-04-13 07:14 pm (UTC)[cold dread sinks into him; he feels his mouth go dry.]
But I - but I'm not -
[some helpless anger sneaks into his voice, a scared show of teeth.]
But I'm not worth anything to you!
no subject
Date: 2016-04-13 07:30 pm (UTC)So it's really simple. You took Miles from me, and you surrender yourself in exchange--unless you'd like to put my mark back where you found it?
no subject
Date: 2016-04-13 08:00 pm (UTC)That's the point though, isn't it? Showing there are some things you can't take back. Actions have consequences - how many times has the wizard snarled that same sentiment at others?]
I could promise to keep running. Just never come back. I'm not even on the same side of the country right now, you would never hear from me again. [in Arizona, actually, although he doesn't want to say that out loud.] Wouldn't that mean just as much as whatever contract you'd have me sign or swear to?
no subject
Date: 2016-04-13 08:15 pm (UTC)[ Poor Rincewind. He's dropped right in it, now. ]
I don't think you're getting the point here, pussy cat. You're mine. You fucked me, and now you're mine. It doesn't get any more simple than that.
Now are you coming to me, or am I going to drag you home by your ear?
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Date: 2016-04-13 08:32 pm (UTC)It - it will take a few days. I don't have the money for a plane, you know, and there are various things to do first, pack and, um, take - take a shower and things.
[can he run? If he goes now maybe he can reach the Mexican border by morning, the Luggage can take him some of the way if it has to...]
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Date: 2016-04-13 08:35 pm (UTC)You know that there's nowhere on Earth that you can run from me, don't you? You should.
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Date: 2016-04-13 08:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-04-13 09:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-04-13 09:28 pm (UTC)[he manages to make the words sound lighter than the heavy, caged feeling suddenly weighing on his shoulders.]
Right. Well. A few days then.
[he is so fucked.]
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Date: 2016-04-13 10:09 pm (UTC)text
Date: 2016-04-14 03:35 am (UTC)and no you did not! you were a very nice boy
no subject
Date: 2016-04-14 01:51 pm (UTC)[w-weird. Also that sounds fake but ok.]
is everything else ok? Did the Luggage do something?
no subject
Date: 2016-04-15 05:41 am (UTC)and no he (he? she?) did not
[ Although she is terrified of that thing, but she is doing this for Will and April's sake. ]
are you friends with will graham and april ludgate? will told me you were over at his house during that week
no subject
Date: 2016-04-15 08:33 pm (UTC)[gender is weird enough without having to assign it to murder boxes.
Oh, and, uh. That next message takes a moment to reply to.]
I quite like them? and yes was at their house? but as a child?
[he's not sure why he keeps adding question marks, except that all of this is so confusing.]
you know them?
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Date: 2016-04-15 10:36 pm (UTC)they are like family to me here
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Date: 2016-04-15 10:38 pm (UTC)if this was not too direct and i sincerely apologize if it is
i do not want to impose
will and april are very good people and i think they like you a lot
and their house is very big with lots of space
no subject
Date: 2016-04-16 01:55 am (UTC)but I'm not a child anymore. that's something they want?
Why are you the one asking?
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Date: 2016-04-16 02:12 am (UTC)2/2
Date: 2016-04-16 02:13 am (UTC)but its because well
theyre.......
april and will are important to me and even jeff is a nice man
there used to be so many people in that house and everyones gone and they seem... lonely
but i do not want to force you to do anything you do not want to either