"Er... yes, okay, I suppose I should tell you that if you're trying to reach me I'm not here, and if you're trying to reach me because you want to do something involving pointy bits of metal or otherwise painful objects, I'm never going to be here. So sorry."
[On this, the most important romance-related holiday of the year, Rincewind receives a card delivered by a regular ol' pig. Because weird magic stuff seems to freak him out a lot, so in order to make him feel more comfortable and welcome, Mabel asks the Waddles responsible to keep the shapeshifting on the down-low.
There’s a small chocolate heart taped to the back, and a little note: Happy Valentine’s Day! Have the best day EVER!!]
Once upon a time there was a little wizard, who got much, much too far in over his head. He was a quivering, cowardly little thing, but he knew a mistake when he made one.
Rincewind, I completely forgot to mention something! Your friend Lord Baelish has had the most splendid idea! From now on, our weekly tea shall be a weekly dinner and tea! So don't spoil your appetite beforehand.
And he is polite, of course. Polite-ish anyway. He waits for Rincewind to get home and gives him some time to do...whatever. Change, take a shower, the wind down routine. And in the meantime, he eats two bananas because bananas are delicious and he's starting to wonder if he should try for a mulch pile or if he should just feed Luggage peels. Both are good for the environment.
When he approaches the door, he does not have a banana with him. It's fun in theory but conversation works just as well. Will's had enough time to settle, so he comes to the door and knocks quietly without standing around and staring at it like "why is this my life why has it led me to this specific situation what did I do wrong how could this happen to me I made my mistakes."]
[A carefully and very securely wrapped package wrapped in a gaily printed cloth is sitting on Rincewind's desk in the library next to two (not overdue) returned books, along with a note in practiced penmanship:]
Dear Mr. Rincewind, Thank you so much for your recommendation; I really enjoyed Herodotus' Histories. Do you have any suggestions for something more modern? I'm still trying to catch up. I'm also looking for anything you might have on botany.
I know we shouldn't be eating food in the library, but I made a little too much shepherd's pie last night, so I thought I'd share. The peas and potatoes are from one of my neighbors! She grew them in her garden herself. I hope you enjoy it.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wizzardly
delivery! (2/14)
Date: 2016-02-13 04:55 am (UTC)There’s a small chocolate heart taped to the back, and a little note: Happy Valentine’s Day! Have the best day EVER!!]
delivery! (2/14)
From:4/9, audio
Date: 2016-04-09 08:27 pm (UTC)4/9, audio
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Date: 2016-04-11 02:18 am (UTC)[ She did click on his ID on the network, so she's going to presume this is the right inbox. ]
i do not know if you remember me
i hear you are not a child anymore
my name is sasha and we ate brownies together
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From:11/4, voice
Date: 2016-04-13 02:46 pm (UTC)Don't you, my friend.
Do you know who I am?
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Date: 2016-04-26 08:04 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2016-04-30 02:04 am (UTC)in your room?
text;
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Date: 2016-05-08 06:05 pm (UTC)did you give up on the animal army plan?
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From:5/18, text
Date: 2016-05-19 12:56 am (UTC)5/18, text
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Date: 2016-05-20 03:13 am (UTC)[Text]
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From:05.19.2016 -- voicemail.
Date: 2016-05-20 03:56 am (UTC)[Since it's been on his mind. Mostly because of a conversation with Will.]
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Date: 2016-05-21 12:38 am (UTC)(no subject)
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From:[voicemail]
Date: 2016-05-22 06:06 pm (UTC)Ta-ta!
Re: [voicemail]
From:[voice]
From:Re: [voice]
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From:text;
Date: 2016-05-24 06:18 pm (UTC)from the beach?
jeff said you wont have sex with me & that we should go out
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From:05.26.2016 -- voicemail
Date: 2016-05-25 02:29 am (UTC)Rincewind. Call me back.
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From:text on the 28th or so, from a blocked number
Date: 2016-05-27 05:21 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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From:voice
Date: 2016-05-31 12:41 am (UTC)Any more of a brown noser and you'd be halfway up Lucifer's ass. [ he might be amused. sue him. ]
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From:voice;
Date: 2016-05-31 01:12 am (UTC)voice;
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From:action; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ydrtF45-y-g
Date: 2016-06-28 03:04 am (UTC)And he is polite, of course. Polite-ish anyway. He waits for Rincewind to get home and gives him some time to do...whatever. Change, take a shower, the wind down routine. And in the meantime, he eats two bananas because bananas are delicious and he's starting to wonder if he should try for a mulch pile or if he should just feed Luggage peels. Both are good for the environment.
When he approaches the door, he does not have a banana with him. It's fun in theory but conversation works just as well. Will's had enough time to settle, so he comes to the door and knocks quietly without standing around and staring at it like "why is this my life why has it led me to this specific situation what did I do wrong how could this happen to me I made my mistakes."]
You busy?
/plays on a loop
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From:audio;
Date: 2016-06-28 04:27 am (UTC)I am certain you've seen the results of the election by now.
[ An arrogant pause to bask in his victory. ]
I couldn't have done it without your help, my friend.
[ Every word a twist of the knife. ]
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Date: 2016-07-18 02:02 am (UTC)fyi
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Date: 2016-08-17 02:32 am (UTC)it's taken care of
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Date: 2016-08-20 06:14 pm (UTC)seems like ur kind of thing
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From:[Physical Delivery]
Date: 2016-08-26 06:04 pm (UTC)Dear Mr. Rincewind,
Thank you so much for your recommendation; I really enjoyed Herodotus' Histories. Do you have any suggestions for something more modern? I'm still trying to catch up. I'm also looking for anything you might have on botany.
I know we shouldn't be eating food in the library, but I made a little too much shepherd's pie last night, so I thought I'd share. The peas and potatoes are from one of my neighbors! She grew them in her garden herself. I hope you enjoy it.
Estellise
[Physical Delivery]
From:[another note, but without food this time...]
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Date: 2016-09-09 02:08 am (UTC)Text;
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Date: 2016-10-08 04:35 pm (UTC)Text;
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