IC CONTACT

[wizzardly]

VOICEMAIL:

"Er... yes, okay, I suppose I should tell you that if you're trying to reach me I'm not here, and if you're trying to reach me because you want to do something involving pointy bits of metal or otherwise painful objects, I'm never going to be here. So sorry."

Comments

[wizzardly]

[excuse another moment in which Rincewind's long-ignored libido has a fist fight with his panic over whether touching a boob would mean he's not a wizard anymore.]

And you really want to do this now? with me?

[itistolaugh]

why else would i send this

[Maybe more pictures will be more convincing.

And maybe one day she will check the damn "from" line.]

[wizzardly]

I suppose I'll be over then.

[unless he has a heart or panic attack on the way, a distinct possibility.]

I'll make sure the Luggage stays outside. [maybe he can bribe it into behaving with some new laundry and a bag of crisps.]

[itistolaugh]

[Oh.

Fuck.

She should have suspected when his first replies made no sense, she should have known when he hesitated in getting booty, but now there is no amount of mental gymnastics that can assume "the Luggage" is autocorrect for something.

The kind, responsible thing would be to correct this mistake immediately and apologize profusely and they can all have a good laugh about it later. But ... but mama horny. So. Guess this is happening now.]

k

[slightlyoffchilt]

I believe that is simply his... Style. You know his line of work.

Probably rubs off on him.

[wizzardly]

I imagine that's not the only thing.

[entirely intentional innuendo.]

[slightlyoffchilt]

Why are you imagining that?

[NOT LETTING THE PANSEXUAL THING GO.]

[wizzardly]

[WHY NOT]

It's a turn of phrase!

[slightlyoffchilt]

All right, all right -- I won't pressure the pulse. [A beat.] You know that he is... obsessive about you, I will admit. Simply cannot help but wonder sometimes.

[wizzardly]

Obsessive? How do you mean "obsessive"? - Has he been talking about me? What's he said?

[slightlyoffchilt]

You simply seem to come up during our... Miscommunications.

[Arguments. He means arguments.]

[wizzardly]

...Like ours, do you mean?

[specifically, that one where it was miscommunicated to Chilton that Rincewind sent a deadly intelligence agent to hypnotize and harm him.]

Do those happen often?

[slightlyoffchilt]

[Uncomfortably:] Only a couple of times. He is quick to believe I would antagonize him.

I would not.

[wizzardly]

Well that's surprising. I didn't think you two could fight about anything.

[slightlyoffchilt]

I typically get along with people so well.

[wizzardly]

Oh, I'm sure it's his own issues. [not that Rincewind can pretend at sympathy in this situation either way. Added distance between the Lord and the Doctor? Good.]

I've certainly always found you charming.

[wizzardly]

[he's a thrumming, messy mix of excited and terrified but all right. All right, this is happening. This is going to be enjoyable. This absolutely will not be a huge, horrendous failure or mean he's no longer a wizard. Right.

He should bring multiple bottles of wine, probably.]

Be right over.

[itistolaugh]

[Harley immediately has second thoughts, and is well into her sixth thoughts by the time he actually arrives. She gets fully dressed again, then fully undressed, before simply trying to make herself decent by throwing a short robe over the original outfit that wasn't even for him but here they are whoops. It's not trying very hard, but. An attempt was made.

She starts on a bottle of wine while she waits, partly out of nerves and partly so he doesn't see the total mess she makes opening the damn thing because she still hasn't bought a damn wine opening thingamajig.

She opens the door, bottle still in hand, when she hears him walk up. Or at least, she hopes it's him this time. Wasn't that a nice treat for the neighbors.]

Hi. You really-- Come on ["my face" damn it, Harley, stop this] um. Come in.

[slightlyoffchilt]

Well. [Chilton preened, very nearly melting into a girlish chuckle.] Thank you. I like to think I am -- I mean, what isn't there to enjoy? Honestly.

[He wasn't honestly asking.]

[wizzardly]

You had all those people show up for your celebration, so clearly not much.

[he's still not sure how Jeff found most of them.]

Did you know all of them beforehand? Most seemed quite all right. Although I've got some names to suggest you strike off any future guest lists.

[slightlyoffchilt]

I must preface your list with an insistence that I cannot ban Reggie from future engagements.

[wizzardly]

Reg-? Oh. Him.

[not Rincewind's intended target for complaint, but certainly a suitable substitute.]

He called me a "whacko", did you know that? One of the only sane people in this whole bloody community and he's cheeky enough to say whacko.

[slightlyoffchilt]

Reggie does that. Solely to get a rise, I wouldn't take it personally. Besides -- the only professional opinion here is mine, anyway.

[wizzardly]

I'm only saying - there might be some walls for him to scrub in the new building. Trash to collect, you know. Fires to clear the soot from, depending.

[slightlyoffchilt]

He is my secretary. I doubt he would handle the trash demotion well -- wouldn't want that garbage to end up in our personal spaces, would we?

I would never accuse Reggie of subtlety after all.