IC CONTACT

[wizzardly]

VOICEMAIL:

"Er... yes, okay, I suppose I should tell you that if you're trying to reach me I'm not here, and if you're trying to reach me because you want to do something involving pointy bits of metal or otherwise painful objects, I'm never going to be here. So sorry."

Comments

[wizzardly]

You had all those people show up for your celebration, so clearly not much.

[he's still not sure how Jeff found most of them.]

Did you know all of them beforehand? Most seemed quite all right. Although I've got some names to suggest you strike off any future guest lists.

[slightlyoffchilt]

I must preface your list with an insistence that I cannot ban Reggie from future engagements.

[wizzardly]

Reg-? Oh. Him.

[not Rincewind's intended target for complaint, but certainly a suitable substitute.]

He called me a "whacko", did you know that? One of the only sane people in this whole bloody community and he's cheeky enough to say whacko.

[slightlyoffchilt]

Reggie does that. Solely to get a rise, I wouldn't take it personally. Besides -- the only professional opinion here is mine, anyway.

[wizzardly]

I'm only saying - there might be some walls for him to scrub in the new building. Trash to collect, you know. Fires to clear the soot from, depending.

[slightlyoffchilt]

He is my secretary. I doubt he would handle the trash demotion well -- wouldn't want that garbage to end up in our personal spaces, would we?

I would never accuse Reggie of subtlety after all.

[wizzardly]

Oh, if you insist. [punctuated with a half-hearted sigh.]

At least he wasn't nearly as bad as that Hemali woman.

[slightlyoffchilt]

Ah... [A long beat follows.] You are not fond of Hemali?

[wizzardly]

As fond as I ever am of terrifying women who see fit to insult and threaten me.

[slightlyoffchilt]

[Isn't that all women, Rincewind?]

... Threaten how? Is this an HR situation? Already?

[wizzardly]

"HR"?

[slightlyoffchilt]

Human Resources. The only... Understaffed department at the moment.

[wizzardly]

Sounds like a fake position to me. "Human Resources" - exactly the sort of vague nonsense you use to slip by accounting. And you should trust me on that, I worked in a University.

[slightlyoffchilt]

I believe I am legally obligated to provide that department.

[But he's amused nevertheless!]

[wizzardly]

If you're sure. May as well find someone simple-minded for it then.

[slightlyoffchilt]

You make a fine point, but I doubt Dorian Gray would be happy in such a position.

[wizzardly]

[with a smirk in his voice:]

And hardly cost-effective because of it - you'd have have to hire someone separate to keep reminding him he's pretty.

[slightlyoffchilt]

I would never do such a thing. I cannot, in good faith, stoke such narcissism. Besides, would it not get repetitive? What other notable traits does he possess?

[wizzardly]

A strange knowledge of fashion trends? The ability to find cruelty funny? ...Amazing hair?

[slightlyoffchilt]

You have just described vanity, sadism, and the ethics of pomade. I cannot award him any more credit -- he gets none.

Not even one, none.

[wizzardly]

None. Right.

[Rincewind's certainly not about to argue that with the man Dorian terrorized for kicks.]

[slightlyoffchilt]

See? I told them you were sensible!

[wizzardly]

Told who?

[slightlyoffchilt]

Every single person who has ever doubted you, that's all.

[wizzardly]

Well that must have kept you on the phone all day.