IC CONTACT

[wizzardly]

VOICEMAIL:

"Er... yes, okay, I suppose I should tell you that if you're trying to reach me I'm not here, and if you're trying to reach me because you want to do something involving pointy bits of metal or otherwise painful objects, I'm never going to be here. So sorry."

Comments

[slightlyoffchilt]

He is my secretary. I doubt he would handle the trash demotion well -- wouldn't want that garbage to end up in our personal spaces, would we?

I would never accuse Reggie of subtlety after all.

[wizzardly]

Oh, if you insist. [punctuated with a half-hearted sigh.]

At least he wasn't nearly as bad as that Hemali woman.

[slightlyoffchilt]

Ah... [A long beat follows.] You are not fond of Hemali?

[wizzardly]

As fond as I ever am of terrifying women who see fit to insult and threaten me.

[slightlyoffchilt]

[Isn't that all women, Rincewind?]

... Threaten how? Is this an HR situation? Already?

[wizzardly]

"HR"?

[slightlyoffchilt]

Human Resources. The only... Understaffed department at the moment.

[wizzardly]

Sounds like a fake position to me. "Human Resources" - exactly the sort of vague nonsense you use to slip by accounting. And you should trust me on that, I worked in a University.

[slightlyoffchilt]

I believe I am legally obligated to provide that department.

[But he's amused nevertheless!]

[wizzardly]

If you're sure. May as well find someone simple-minded for it then.

[slightlyoffchilt]

You make a fine point, but I doubt Dorian Gray would be happy in such a position.

[wizzardly]

[with a smirk in his voice:]

And hardly cost-effective because of it - you'd have have to hire someone separate to keep reminding him he's pretty.

[slightlyoffchilt]

I would never do such a thing. I cannot, in good faith, stoke such narcissism. Besides, would it not get repetitive? What other notable traits does he possess?

[wizzardly]

A strange knowledge of fashion trends? The ability to find cruelty funny? ...Amazing hair?

[slightlyoffchilt]

You have just described vanity, sadism, and the ethics of pomade. I cannot award him any more credit -- he gets none.

Not even one, none.

[wizzardly]

None. Right.

[Rincewind's certainly not about to argue that with the man Dorian terrorized for kicks.]

[slightlyoffchilt]

See? I told them you were sensible!

[wizzardly]

Told who?

[slightlyoffchilt]

Every single person who has ever doubted you, that's all.

[wizzardly]

Well that must have kept you on the phone all day.

[slightlyoffchilt]

At least you know that someone has your back.

[wizzardly]

...Right. [he would have laughed at words like that when he'd first arrived here.

Now they warm his chest every time.]

Well. I hope you've figured by now that's a full-time job. You've my sympathies.

[slightlyoffchilt]

I don't mind the implied work. I have always been accused of being ambitious.