wizzardly | IC CONTACT

Entry tags:

!mom,
* ic contact

IC CONTACT

VOICEMAIL:

"Er... yes, okay, I suppose I should tell you that if you're trying to reach me I'm not here, and if you're trying to reach me because you want to do something involving pointy bits of metal or otherwise painful objects, I'm never going to be here. So sorry."

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I must preface your list with an insistence that I cannot ban Reggie from future engagements.

Reg-? Oh. Him.

[not Rincewind's intended target for complaint, but certainly a suitable substitute.]

He called me a "whacko", did you know that? One of the only sane people in this whole bloody community and he's cheeky enough to say whacko.

Reggie does that. Solely to get a rise, I wouldn't take it personally. Besides -- the only professional opinion here is mine, anyway.

I'm only saying - there might be some walls for him to scrub in the new building. Trash to collect, you know. Fires to clear the soot from, depending.

He is my secretary. I doubt he would handle the trash demotion well -- wouldn't want that garbage to end up in our personal spaces, would we?

I would never accuse Reggie of subtlety after all.

Oh, if you insist. [punctuated with a half-hearted sigh.]

At least he wasn't nearly as bad as that Hemali woman.

Ah... [A long beat follows.] You are not fond of Hemali?

As fond as I ever am of terrifying women who see fit to insult and threaten me.

[Isn't that all women, Rincewind?]

... Threaten how? Is this an HR situation? Already?

"HR"?

Human Resources. The only... Understaffed department at the moment.

Sounds like a fake position to me. "Human Resources" - exactly the sort of vague nonsense you use to slip by accounting. And you should trust me on that, I worked in a University.

I believe I am legally obligated to provide that department.

[But he's amused nevertheless!]

If you're sure. May as well find someone simple-minded for it then.

You make a fine point, but I doubt Dorian Gray would be happy in such a position.

[with a smirk in his voice:]

And hardly cost-effective because of it - you'd have have to hire someone separate to keep reminding him he's pretty.

I would never do such a thing. I cannot, in good faith, stoke such narcissism. Besides, would it not get repetitive? What other notable traits does he possess?