IC CONTACT

[wizzardly]

VOICEMAIL:

"Er... yes, okay, I suppose I should tell you that if you're trying to reach me I'm not here, and if you're trying to reach me because you want to do something involving pointy bits of metal or otherwise painful objects, I'm never going to be here. So sorry."

Comments

[wizzardly]

absolute no to spiders of any kind.
Probably a no to the dingo, but I don't know what that is.

[aggressiveapathy]

see? nothing dangerous
at all

[wizzardly]

oh so it's just a sort of dog?
that should be fine. It looks a bit like Charlie, even.

[aggressiveapathy]

cool
we'll need magic
for getting him places

[wizzardly]

oh


What sort of magic?

[aggressiveapathy]

make dingo be there
and not here

[wizzardly]

sorry that's not the sort of magic I can do.

[aggressiveapathy]

...
what do you do?
blood stuff?

1/2

[wizzardly]

Gods no!

[WHY DOES EVERYONE AUTOMATICALLY ASSUME THAT?]

[wizzardly]

I can unlock things?

[aggressiveapathy]

yeah...
i know you have hands

[wizzardly]

no I mean magically.
Without a key sort of thing.

[aggressiveapathy]

and?

[wizzardly]

and that's it.

[aggressiveapathy]

...
you don't deserve that hat

[wizzardly]

Bugger off. Just because I can't bring back your bloody dingo doesn't mean I haven't earned my wizard's hat.

[aggressiveapathy]

i will take it from you in a wizards duel

[wizzardly]

no.
Also: no.
no one is taking my hat.

[aggressiveapathy]

too late
it has been decided
by fate

[wizzardly]

Fate is a prick bastard who can stick His head in a sinkhole.

[typed Rincewind, who has become reasonably certain that 1) his Fate is not in this Universe, and 2) Fate probably can't read everyone's text messages.]


no. one. gets. my. hat.

[aggressiveapathy]

:)

[wizzardly]

don't you type faces at me! I need you to know I'm putting my foot down!

[aggressiveapathy]

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[wizzardly]

I'm absolutely serious! I really am!
You can't win it in any sort of duel, it doesn't work like that
And you aren't a wizard

[aggressiveapathy]

no
i'm an evil witch
so
i don't follow the rules