IC CONTACT

[wizzardly]

VOICEMAIL:

"Er... yes, okay, I suppose I should tell you that if you're trying to reach me I'm not here, and if you're trying to reach me because you want to do something involving pointy bits of metal or otherwise painful objects, I'm never going to be here. So sorry."

Comments

[wizzardly]

no.
Also: no.
no one is taking my hat.

[aggressiveapathy]

too late
it has been decided
by fate

[wizzardly]

Fate is a prick bastard who can stick His head in a sinkhole.

[typed Rincewind, who has become reasonably certain that 1) his Fate is not in this Universe, and 2) Fate probably can't read everyone's text messages.]


no. one. gets. my. hat.

[aggressiveapathy]

:)

[wizzardly]

don't you type faces at me! I need you to know I'm putting my foot down!

[aggressiveapathy]

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[wizzardly]

I'm absolutely serious! I really am!
You can't win it in any sort of duel, it doesn't work like that
And you aren't a wizard

[aggressiveapathy]

no
i'm an evil witch
so
i don't follow the rules

[wizzardly]

is this more of that Wizard of Oz stuff?
someone told me there's a witch in it
Are you trying to make a reference?

[aggressiveapathy]

it's a fact

[wizzardly]

[there is a long pause before his next text.]

are you actually claiming to be an actual witch?

[aggressiveapathy]

do facts work different Under The Hat?

[wizzardly]

I just thought someone would have mentioned it.

[he's been living with a witch this whole time?? A wizard and a witch under the same roof, good gods!]

and I think witches are supposed to have hats too.
Just not mine.

[aggressiveapathy]

we're more hell's bells and naked orgies kinda a breed
it's complicated

[wizzardly]

please tell me you're joking about at least one of those.
also I don't think there are other sorts of orgies.




you can really do magic?

[aggressiveapathy]

i need to show you the internet
some orgies involve fur
but
yeah
hocus pocus, blah, blah

[wizzardly]

I really had no idea.

[AND AN IDEA OCCURS]

what sort of magic can you do?

[aggressiveapathy]

what do i get
for telling you?

[wizzardly]

you already practically have my Luggage, what more would you like?
Don't say my hat.

[aggressiveapathy]

i take secrets

[wizzardly]

I already gave you two
my power and that I can't do magic, those have to be decent credit.

[aggressiveapathy]

do you wanna learn?

[wizzardly]

I spent my entire life trying to. It won't work.
will you answer the question?

[aggressiveapathy]

promise me you'll talk to sabriel
and i'll tell

[wizzardly]

why sabriel?