IC CONTACT

[wizzardly]

VOICEMAIL:

"Er... yes, okay, I suppose I should tell you that if you're trying to reach me I'm not here, and if you're trying to reach me because you want to do something involving pointy bits of metal or otherwise painful objects, I'm never going to be here. So sorry."

Comments

[wizzardly]

Why?

[textualhealing]

Personal reasons. Power related reasons. Medical reasons. I hate myself. I love myself. I'm gay. I'm straight. I'm not looking for a relationship right now. Not looking for sex right now. I want to focus on my career. I want to focus on my hobbies. Take your pick...

[wizzardly]

so 'bugger off', basically. fine fine

[textualhealing]

You learn quick.
And while you can't interfere in my personal life, I'm still totally gonna interfere in yours. Let's go get you laid!

[wizzardly]

as delightful as letting you set me up with any number of horrible or dangerous people sounds, I think I'll pass

[textualhealing]

Why do you assume I only know horrible and/or dangerous people?

[wizzardly]

I don't
I think those are the only people you would set me up with
You'd find it funny.

[textualhealing]

Or maybe I actually wanna see you have a good night with a nice person.

[wizzardly]

okay but which of those sounds more likely?

[textualhealing]

The ones where I'm a super awesome guy and get you laid with fine booty?

[wizzardly]

which, again, I never actually asked you to do for me

[textualhealing]

You don't have to ask. I know a sad, lonely man when I see one.

[wizzardly]

truly your generosity knows no bounds.

[textualhealing]

Ikr. I can set you something up in the next few weeks.

[wizzardly]

please don't trouble yourself.

[textualhealing]

I got a few ladies in mind.

Unless you prefer dudes. Do you want a selection of each? Best to keep all options open, right?

[wizzardly]

I can't help reading between the lines here.
You are asking me to lead a trail of ants to your bed, aren't you? That's what I'm getting.

[textualhealing]

Don't get ants in the house. The raccoons won't be happy.

[wizzardly]

something more creative then.

[textualhealing]

Like me punching you in the face?

[wizzardly]

Why does it always need to come back to punching?

[textualhealing]

I dunno, you just bring that side of me out. I think it's your face.

[wizzardly]

surprisingly not the first time I've heard that.

[textualhealing]

Yeah, not surprising at all. You seem like the kind of person everyone kicks.

[wizzardly]

oh good, I was worried we weren't getting to know each other properly.