"Er... yes, okay, I suppose I should tell you that if you're trying to reach me I'm not here, and if you're trying to reach me because you want to do something involving pointy bits of metal or otherwise painful objects, I'm never going to be here. So sorry."
[Chilton had medical training, he could identify an ablative.]
I suppose a turtle would suit you. Cautious and guarded little things, but they tend to do quite well don't they? Humans tends to project onto their pets -- much easier when there are already similarities.
Lat - ? Oh, right, yes. [that's what 'Latatian' is here, that's right. Rincewind nods.] I suppose I am. Not that I don't appreciate things about other languages as well, but La...tin is something of a wizard's language. You know it as well then?
[he squirms against the chair in some useless attempt to make it more comfortable. Why did you design your home to feel like an art gallery, Chilton?]
I wish this one stopped being so suicidal, then. Although I'm starting to suspect an eyesight problem. [seriously, he has never met a small animal so damn determined to walk over ledges or into traffic. Bus may need to talk to someone.]
What would you have? [he waves a quick hand.] I mean, yes, all right, you aren't a pet person - but let's say you had to care for one. What would it be?
[Rincewind's face blossoms into a beaming grin. He's only ever had the one name - he's not even sure if it's a first or a last, and let's be honest, it's not the best as far as names go - but... but it's sweet, the idea someone would give it to something else. Because of him. Out of fondness.
He's still smiling a moment later, genuinely warmed. The wine helps.]
I think I could see you with a cat better though. You're more cat than reptile. - Curious, and all.
And it's a bit fun. Mostly that, really. But it does get a person across to someone else rather neatly, doesn't it? You call someone a bear, for example, and you get a pretty clear picture.
We could make it a something of a game, even. One of us can name an imPort, and the other can name an animal for them. [Rincewind waves a hand in Chilton's direction, prompting. This seems like it could be an excellent distraction for the psychiatrist - something to get his mind off his absent lover.]
Jeff? Hm. No doubt he imagines himself to be something of a wolf -- he presents himself as detached, logical, independent. But you know... [Chilton smirked into his glass as he lounged back in a chair.] He can be so needy. Fear of abandonment.
Perhaps a German Shepard. He's got the bark for one.
A German...? Oh, a sort of dog. [Rincewind nods slowly.] I could certainly see that. Of course they've good traits too. Loyal, for one. Protective.
[He's still getting to know Jeff, but Rincewind would like to think he could see those traits in the man as well. Fear of abandonment, though - that's an interesting tidbit. It's a lot more sensitive an issue than he'd expect of his housemate.
Rincewind's answer (and his frown) takes no time at all.]
A snake. Not one of those poisonous sorts, but... something craftier. Like those ones that wrap around something and squeeze the life from it. Or steal eggs from perfectly innocent birds' nests.
[there's a quick, dark look cast in his wine before he glances Chilton's way.]
But I suppose you'd have a different choice for him?
[Chilton gave Rincewind a small smirk -- while the rift between his two friends certainly invoked some distress, Chilton was not above ignoring the humor of the situation. And Rincewind had that remarkable ability to be so definitively reactive.]
More avian, actually. Something with sharp vision -- like a falcon.
Still a predator, yes, you ought to be pleased by the compromise.
[Rincewind rolls his eyes with a sigh that momentarily becomes a yawn, shaking his head.]
Oh, come on. People like being compared to eagles and falcons and things, he'd think it a compliment. Soaring above everyone else so he can shit on their heads.
Here, what about... [the wizard swirls his wine, groping for a mutual acquaintance.] ...Ra -
- Reggie. Reggie, that assistant of yours. [he squirms.
He'd very nearly said 'Raina', before remembering what a poor choice that was right now.]
[Chilton almost took pause to the name slip, but the visual image of Petyr Baelish taking flight just to drop excrement on the unassuming heads of people proved distracting enough. Ra-Reggie was a welcomed change of pace.]
Reggie, Reggie. Reggie Mantle. Also something predatory, canine-like. Mammal at the very least. Hyena, or a fox. He thinks himself to be something of a prankster, you understand, but Reggie only acts out in thirst for attention.
Does he? I've only spoken with him the once. ...I could see fox for him, I suppose.
[mostly because he's not sure what a hyena is; he's still learning the name of some animals.
He reacts less at the name than usual only because he'd been expecting it; Lucifer's become an expected topic between them. Likewise, Rincewind's answer takes no time at all.]
A tiger. ...Kitty likes to turn into one now, you know. I wish she wouldn't. [the wizard shudders.] They're bloody massive. I've noticed they're somewhat popular here - people making toys of them, putting their pictures on things and so forth - and I can't understand it. I can't understand how people can look at something so clearly built for ripping things apart, and turn it into a toy.
...Mr. March, how about? You've met him, haven't you?
I'm not fond of anything that has a mind to eat me. [Rincewind retorts while looking away, a touch embarrassed for reasons he can't put his finger on.]
Flamingo? ...I've seen those. I would have gone frog, I think. There are these small, colorful sorts you find in damp forests. Something colorful. Flamingo suits that well enough.
Oh, but hummingbird for Kitty. Absolutely. Even if she prefers being feline.
[Rincewind draws up his legs, curling further into the chair. There's little left in his glass now - most of it has already seeped in like a warm blanket. He can't imagine how Chilton hasn't already passed out yet, given what he knows the man has had tonight.]
Well, when the alternative is drowning. [lightly. He suspects he's being mollified, but he's fine moving on - the universe has a habit of snatching good things away if he brings too much attention to them.]
Last one then. ...I did think cat was rather apt. [thoughtfully, looking up at the ceiling.] Bit too independent, maybe. Although I suppose it depends on the cat. ...Octopus? They're intelligent, I've read. Bit secretive. They can do that thing with the ink. Or is that squids? ...No, no, on second thought that's not quite suitable either...
[strap in, Chilton, apparently this is now a matter of Great Importance.]
[Said Chilton, his attempt to mollify Rincewind by downplaying this matter of Great Importance. It occurred to the psychiatrist that his friend might get a little invested in the game -- often individuals who suffered from constant anxiety and, in Rincewind's case, paranoia for their own safety put strategic emphasis on the little things that they could control.
[a touch hurried, like he can feel the clock ticking down on his window of opportunity. When the light-bulb finally goes off, it's with a snap of fingers and a look of triumph.]
- Ferret! There it is, that's it. Absolutely. They're clever, but they aren't the bastards that weasels are. Bit cute and fluffy, really. And they ferret things away - I mean of course, being ferrets - and their curiosity gets them into trouble but they're small and quick enough to usually get out of it again.
[Rincewind folds his arms smugly, looking exceedingly proud of himself to have ended the game on a proper note.]
Ferret, well. [Chilton could tell it was a compliment, mostly but the contextual evidence that Rincewind had so kindly and wisely provided. He raised his empty glass in gratitude, dipping his chin to complement the motion.] That is both lovely logic and a fine conclusion.
[With noticeably quivering legs, Chilton dared to stand.]
Would you feel comfortable staying the night? We have a guest room. I would be more -- more than happy to ensure you rest well.
[Praise that goes as quickly to Rincewind's head as the wine; he grins his triumph.
The idea of going to bed is absolutely lovely, though, and a long time coming. Rincewind gets his long limbs sorted out well enough to straighten and stand as well.]
Absolutely. [with a cheerful nod, shoving aside a moment's concern that any bed Chilton offers him will match the styling of the rest of his furniture - that is to say, lacking comfort or a noticeable intention for human use.] I would never turn down your magic fingers.
[a beat.]
...Which, erm, sounded better in my head, I think.
Perhaps it was lucky that Raina didn't hear you say that.
[Chilton didn't believe his own words, of course; nothing was lucky about Raina being exported. But it was all he could do, to cling to those whispers of humor.]
... But my fingers appreciate the praise, regardless. Come on, now.
[The closest he could come to saying thank you, Rincewind for the good company and proper, non-box wine.]
[hopefully he's made the home just a little easier to sleep in tonight for Chilton. Rincewind knows it will be for him, pleased to follow Chilton to whatever guest room the man has in mind.
(But if there are low windows anywhere, a certain many-legged guardian may spend the night perched outside them, staring woodenly inside, brooding as best as a travel accessory can.)]
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wizzardly
no subject
Date: 2016-06-07 04:50 am (UTC)[Chilton had medical training, he could identify an ablative.]
I suppose a turtle would suit you. Cautious and guarded little things, but they tend to do quite well don't they? Humans tends to project onto their pets -- much easier when there are already similarities.
no subject
Date: 2016-06-07 08:38 pm (UTC)[he squirms against the chair in some useless attempt to make it more comfortable. Why did you design your home to feel like an art gallery, Chilton?]
I wish this one stopped being so suicidal, then. Although I'm starting to suspect an eyesight problem. [seriously, he has never met a small animal so damn determined to walk over ledges or into traffic. Bus may need to talk to someone.]
What would you have? [he waves a quick hand.] I mean, yes, all right, you aren't a pet person - but let's say you had to care for one. What would it be?
no subject
Date: 2016-06-12 01:18 am (UTC)[Chilton would have called that Darwinism at work, but if Rincewind wanted to blame poor eyesight, then so be it.]
What would I have? [Incredulity colored his tone.] Oh -- I don't know. A cat? A lizard? Something low maintenance.
[The fact that he humored the question spoke to his enjoyment of Rincewind's company.]
Had I a lizard, I'd name it after you.
[A lizard wizzard.]
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Date: 2016-06-12 03:23 am (UTC)[Rincewind's face blossoms into a beaming grin. He's only ever had the one name - he's not even sure if it's a first or a last, and let's be honest, it's not the best as far as names go - but... but it's sweet, the idea someone would give it to something else. Because of him. Out of fondness.
He's still smiling a moment later, genuinely warmed. The wine helps.]
I think I could see you with a cat better though. You're more cat than reptile. - Curious, and all.
no subject
Date: 2016-06-12 05:53 am (UTC)[Asked the man who once called Rincewind murine.]
I suppose that has its benefit -- you begin to classify patterns, yes? Not so dissimilar to basic psychiatric diagnosis.
no subject
Date: 2016-06-12 02:14 pm (UTC)We could make it a something of a game, even. One of us can name an imPort, and the other can name an animal for them. [Rincewind waves a hand in Chilton's direction, prompting. This seems like it could be an excellent distraction for the psychiatrist - something to get his mind off his absent lover.]
You start - how about Jeffrey?
no subject
Date: 2016-06-12 03:47 pm (UTC)Perhaps a German Shepard. He's got the bark for one.
[And Will's favor alone suggests something canine.]
What about... Lord Baelish?
[Chilton did that on purpose.]
no subject
Date: 2016-06-13 07:28 pm (UTC)[He's still getting to know Jeff, but Rincewind would like to think he could see those traits in the man as well. Fear of abandonment, though - that's an interesting tidbit. It's a lot more sensitive an issue than he'd expect of his housemate.
Rincewind's answer (and his frown) takes no time at all.]
A snake. Not one of those poisonous sorts, but... something craftier. Like those ones that wrap around something and squeeze the life from it. Or steal eggs from perfectly innocent birds' nests.
[there's a quick, dark look cast in his wine before he glances Chilton's way.]
But I suppose you'd have a different choice for him?
no subject
Date: 2016-06-15 06:17 am (UTC)[Chilton gave Rincewind a small smirk -- while the rift between his two friends certainly invoked some distress, Chilton was not above ignoring the humor of the situation. And Rincewind had that remarkable ability to be so definitively reactive.]
More avian, actually. Something with sharp vision -- like a falcon.
Still a predator, yes, you ought to be pleased by the compromise.
no subject
Date: 2016-06-15 06:22 pm (UTC)Oh, come on. People like being compared to eagles and falcons and things, he'd think it a compliment. Soaring above everyone else so he can shit on their heads.
Here, what about... [the wizard swirls his wine, groping for a mutual acquaintance.] ...Ra -
- Reggie. Reggie, that assistant of yours. [he squirms.
He'd very nearly said 'Raina', before remembering what a poor choice that was right now.]
no subject
Date: 2016-06-16 06:46 pm (UTC)Reggie, Reggie. Reggie Mantle. Also something predatory, canine-like. Mammal at the very least. Hyena, or a fox. He thinks himself to be something of a prankster, you understand, but Reggie only acts out in thirst for attention.
Ooh. Do Lucifer.
no subject
Date: 2016-06-18 04:36 am (UTC)[mostly because he's not sure what a hyena is; he's still learning the name of some animals.
He reacts less at the name than usual only because he'd been expecting it; Lucifer's become an expected topic between them. Likewise, Rincewind's answer takes no time at all.]
A tiger. ...Kitty likes to turn into one now, you know. I wish she wouldn't. [the wizard shudders.] They're bloody massive. I've noticed they're somewhat popular here - people making toys of them, putting their pictures on things and so forth - and I can't understand it. I can't understand how people can look at something so clearly built for ripping things apart, and turn it into a toy.
...Mr. March, how about? You've met him, haven't you?
no subject
Date: 2016-06-18 05:17 am (UTC)[But Mr. March was a remarkable man, and Chilton wanted a little time to consider what would best suit him -- so he bought time with his tongue.]
Not fond of tigers, are you?
[His finger ran over the rim of his glass.]
Surely it isn't just their size? Perhaps their ferocity? Their camouflage?
[A leer followed -- but it was brief.]
James is a flamingo, I'd say. They are such charming creatures. What about Kitty Jones herself?
no subject
Date: 2016-06-20 01:57 pm (UTC)Flamingo? ...I've seen those. I would have gone frog, I think. There are these small, colorful sorts you find in damp forests. Something colorful. Flamingo suits that well enough.
Oh, but hummingbird for Kitty. Absolutely. Even if she prefers being feline.
[Rincewind arches a brow]
So, do you still find me a rat?
no subject
Date: 2016-06-22 03:00 am (UTC)[Well, not that anyone would accuse Rincewind or Chilton of wanting to eat James March -- not to their faces, anyway. Probably.
He nodded at Rincewind's depiction of Kitty, thinking it apt.]
Ah -- Is there something wrong with being a rat?
[Perhaps he shouldn't have said rat. There were other related creatures, more beloved breeds.]
I suppose you have a softer side. Otters are intelligent, you know, and rarely rabid.
no subject
Date: 2016-06-22 03:27 am (UTC)A softer side? What's that supposed to mean?
[a pause. ...Partly to wipe a bit of wine from his chin.]
...I suppose that's all right. I don't know much about them. Except they swim, don't they? I can't swim. But then this is metaphorical.
Did you want me to choose one for you?
no subject
Date: 2016-06-24 04:32 am (UTC)[The question bought him a moment to consider his response to Rincewind's question.]
Softer, more approachable. You've attracted plenty of positive attention here, haven't you? Metaphorically keeping your head above water.
no subject
Date: 2016-06-24 06:20 pm (UTC)Well, when the alternative is drowning. [lightly. He suspects he's being mollified, but he's fine moving on - the universe has a habit of snatching good things away if he brings too much attention to them.]
Last one then. ...I did think cat was rather apt. [thoughtfully, looking up at the ceiling.] Bit too independent, maybe. Although I suppose it depends on the cat. ...Octopus? They're intelligent, I've read. Bit secretive. They can do that thing with the ink. Or is that squids? ...No, no, on second thought that's not quite suitable either...
[strap in, Chilton, apparently this is now a matter of Great Importance.]
no subject
Date: 2016-06-26 04:26 pm (UTC)[Said Chilton, his attempt to mollify Rincewind by downplaying this matter of Great Importance. It occurred to the psychiatrist that his friend might get a little invested in the game -- often individuals who suffered from constant anxiety and, in Rincewind's case, paranoia for their own safety put strategic emphasis on the little things that they could control.
Like word association games.]
no subject
Date: 2016-06-28 05:01 am (UTC)[a touch hurried, like he can feel the clock ticking down on his window of opportunity. When the light-bulb finally goes off, it's with a snap of fingers and a look of triumph.]
- Ferret! There it is, that's it. Absolutely. They're clever, but they aren't the bastards that weasels are. Bit cute and fluffy, really. And they ferret things away - I mean of course, being ferrets - and their curiosity gets them into trouble but they're small and quick enough to usually get out of it again.
[Rincewind folds his arms smugly, looking exceedingly proud of himself to have ended the game on a proper note.]
Ferret.
no subject
Date: 2016-06-29 06:01 am (UTC)[With noticeably quivering legs, Chilton dared to stand.]
Would you feel comfortable staying the night? We have a guest room. I would be more -- more than happy to ensure you rest well.
[Said Chilton, with a wiggle of his fingers.]
no subject
Date: 2016-06-29 04:23 pm (UTC)The idea of going to bed is absolutely lovely, though, and a long time coming. Rincewind gets his long limbs sorted out well enough to straighten and stand as well.]
Absolutely. [with a cheerful nod, shoving aside a moment's concern that any bed Chilton offers him will match the styling of the rest of his furniture - that is to say, lacking comfort or a noticeable intention for human use.] I would never turn down your magic fingers.
[a beat.]
...Which, erm, sounded better in my head, I think.
no subject
Date: 2016-06-30 01:07 am (UTC)[Chilton didn't believe his own words, of course; nothing was lucky about Raina being exported. But it was all he could do, to cling to those whispers of humor.]
... But my fingers appreciate the praise, regardless. Come on, now.
[The closest he could come to saying thank you, Rincewind for the good company and proper, non-box wine.]
no subject
Date: 2016-06-30 05:39 am (UTC)(But if there are low windows anywhere, a certain many-legged guardian may spend the night perched outside them, staring woodenly inside, brooding as best as a travel accessory can.)]