"Er... yes, okay, I suppose I should tell you that if you're trying to reach me I'm not here, and if you're trying to reach me because you want to do something involving pointy bits of metal or otherwise painful objects, I'm never going to be here. So sorry."
You wound me. Who doesn't wish to see their closest of friends succeed? Except you, perhaps. Since you are so doomed to failure, I imagine you would much rather your friends also join you at the bottom.
Yes, well, one of the last times we spoke you threatened to turn one of your 'closest friends' over to the devil just to spite me. So you'll forgive me if I think we've got different ideas about friendship.
...And you know, the bottom isn't an uncomfortable place to be until people like you go stepping on heads.
Only to spite you. I would also rather see Frederick succeed.
[ He just loathes Rincewind more than he likes Chilton. ]
Unfortunately for you, there will always be people like me. So I am surprised, really. That you have not grown accustomed to being used like a doormat.
Good to know I can still surprise you. [his voice is a dry mutter.
Rincewind turns around so he's leaning back against the wall, staring miserably up the ceiling. He can't stop picturing how self-satisfied Baelish must look, can practically hear the crooning, pseudo-humble tones he'll use when he inevitably posts to thank the imPort community for voting him into a position of power. And then... and then...]
...So what now? Going to fix roads and fund orphanages?
Nothing so boring. What I proposed in my campaign is what I am going to do next. Bring business to Maurtia Falls. Establish affluence in the city to redirect the cash flow away from criminal activity. Once I am sworn into office, I will begin the negotiations with government officials from there.
[ A pause, and you can practically hear the smirk as it forms on his lips. ]
Do not think for a moment simply because I won this campaign that I am done with your services, however. There is still much you can do for the Baelish campaign. Starting with my grand celebration this evening.
...You're joking. [the wizard feels like he's been strapped to an executioner's table, and that swinging blade just keeps getting lower... and lower.]
That's - of course I'm damn well done with the campaign, the campaign is over, you won, you don't still campaign after you win! That's the whole bloody point!
There are plenty of things to campaign still. The changes I promised within Maurtia Falls, for one. You did not seriously believe you would be free from your duties so soon, did you? Your services are mine until I no longer require them.
Unless you would rather I go to Lucifer and acquire his services instead.
[until he gets bored of tormenting him, Baelish means. Rincewind's sure of that now. It had been a far-flung hope in the first place, but now the wizard's staring at the smashed remnants on the ground and resignedly looking for a dustpan.]
No need. Take this day as a chance to celebrate our victory. I will be having a dinner tonight at Maurtia Falls. You are invited, of course. Doctor Chilton will be there as well.
[ And Baelish does so want Rincewind to see how much Chilton is sucking up to him now that he's in a position of power. ]
Then I suppose you would much prefer a private celebration on Doctor Chilton's yacht. He had extended the invitation to me last month -- since you and I are getting along so well, he hoped that we could have an enjoyable time. Together. The three of us.
Actually I declined at first. Postponed it for the month as best as I could with the excuse of the campaign.
[ The one thing they can both agree upon is the fact that they don't want to do this. ]
But inevitably I cannot cut you out of his life, and you cannot cut me out either. Perhaps our best course of action is to play nice for his outing. Such an action would strategically keep him happiest.
What, and just keep him between us like some sort of living... buffer?
[nothing about this sounds like a good idea. This is all going to end in flames, he can already smell the smoke.]
...Well, I'm not going to be the reason it doesn't happen. You can't blame this on me.
[Rincewind defiantly swallows the urge to ask what a yacht is. He'll look it up later - preferably with something that won't call him ignorant for not knowing.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wizzardly
Re: audio;
Date: 2016-06-28 08:00 pm (UTC)Don't go pretending at altruism with me now, Lord Baelish, it's a bit late in the game for that.
audio;
Date: 2016-06-28 08:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-06-28 08:35 pm (UTC)...And you know, the bottom isn't an uncomfortable place to be until people like you go stepping on heads.
no subject
Date: 2016-06-28 09:04 pm (UTC)[ He just loathes Rincewind more than he likes Chilton. ]
Unfortunately for you, there will always be people like me. So I am surprised, really. That you have not grown accustomed to being used like a doormat.
no subject
Date: 2016-06-28 09:44 pm (UTC)Rincewind turns around so he's leaning back against the wall, staring miserably up the ceiling. He can't stop picturing how self-satisfied Baelish must look, can practically hear the crooning, pseudo-humble tones he'll use when he inevitably posts to thank the imPort community for voting him into a position of power. And then... and then...]
...So what now? Going to fix roads and fund orphanages?
no subject
Date: 2016-06-29 03:11 am (UTC)[ A pause, and you can practically hear the smirk as it forms on his lips. ]
Do not think for a moment simply because I won this campaign that I am done with your services, however. There is still much you can do for the Baelish campaign. Starting with my grand celebration this evening.
no subject
Date: 2016-06-29 03:26 am (UTC)That's - of course I'm damn well done with the campaign, the campaign is over, you won, you don't still campaign after you win! That's the whole bloody point!
What celebration? What are you talking about?
no subject
Date: 2016-06-30 03:11 am (UTC)Unless you would rather I go to Lucifer and acquire his services instead.
no subject
Date: 2016-06-30 05:33 am (UTC)Right. Shall I fire up the copier then?
no subject
Date: 2016-07-02 01:53 am (UTC)[ And Baelish does so want Rincewind to see how much Chilton is sucking up to him now that he's in a position of power. ]
no subject
Date: 2016-07-02 02:25 am (UTC)[like being literally anywhere else than celebrating his enemy's victory while he watches his closest friend mooch with him.]
no subject
Date: 2016-07-03 03:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-07-04 03:13 am (UTC)But he's absolutely sure he doesn't want to be on one with Lord Baelish.]
And you were agreeable to that, were you?
no subject
Date: 2016-07-04 02:03 pm (UTC)[ The one thing they can both agree upon is the fact that they don't want to do this. ]
But inevitably I cannot cut you out of his life, and you cannot cut me out either. Perhaps our best course of action is to play nice for his outing. Such an action would strategically keep him happiest.
no subject
Date: 2016-07-05 05:32 am (UTC)[nothing about this sounds like a good idea. This is all going to end in flames, he can already smell the smoke.]
...Well, I'm not going to be the reason it doesn't happen. You can't blame this on me.
[Rincewind defiantly swallows the urge to ask what a yacht is. He'll look it up later - preferably with something that won't call him ignorant for not knowing.]
no subject
Date: 2016-07-07 12:39 am (UTC)[ Because really, what choice did Rincewind have? It was either that or look like the bad guy. ]
Who knows. Perhaps he will provide more than enough drink for you to mildly enjoy yourself.
no subject
Date: 2016-07-09 02:31 am (UTC)Enjoy your celebration in the meantime.