"Er... yes, okay, I suppose I should tell you that if you're trying to reach me I'm not here, and if you're trying to reach me because you want to do something involving pointy bits of metal or otherwise painful objects, I'm never going to be here. So sorry."
And children. I'm still not sure how that one happened.
[and lest he start imagining it, Rincewind swiftly moves the conversation along. Even at the risk of it plummeting into deeper, more dangerous waters.
Which there's clearly a chance of, considering April isn't even looking at him now. Rincewind sets his cleaned bowl aside, twisting his mouth. The part of him that wants to be angry, was angry before, is mostly just tired now. His whole body is.]
[ Baby luggage?! April can only blink for a moment at that, still looking where the Luggage had gone. Leaving baby momma and kids for the Wizard. April didn't think most people would manage to make the same choice.
But the man is back. After a moment of digesting the family news, April turns back to look at him, even more confused now than she had been by how baby luggage would work.]
That he'd - do something. Like that. To someone who calls him a friend. [he frowns deeply into his wine, turning so he's mostly laying down again. His feelings there are so muddled - he keeps returning to those memories of when he was in Will's bait shop, of all things; when he was a child. Rincewind's not sure why.
He glances over, guarded.]
You weren't surprised when you heard? You weren't upset?
[Normal friends isn't even the right term. April scratches the back of her head, ruffling her hair, then leans against the couch with a huff.]
You know I made peace, right? With Freddie. For you. Now he says I'm the sickness, can't stand to talk to me. They have messed up thinking about each other, the dicks from Baltimore. So. Mm. Not really surprised, I guess.
[he winces. That doesn't surprise him - Chilton's been vitriolic about April from the start, he's not surprised this mess with Will has eroded that brief truce. ]
I know you did. Or tried. I appreciated that, I really did. [even as it's clear now that's not something that will ever last.] But - thinking's one thing. He - he had to cut Dorian open. For this. Like a fish.
[which is a suddenly, deeply unpleasant comparison, and it's a good thing he's already eaten.]
[April bends her knees, bringing them up to her chest to wrap her arms loosely around, not even noticing one of the dogs dives in to replace her feet on the carpet, absorbing the bit of warmth she left.]
So're you. It's why you came back to the house, I guess. It's what makes our house...our house.
Oh, I already gave him an earful. [muttered sourly. That had hurt too, Dorian's complete lack of caring. His own fault - he should have seen it. Rincewind could be called many things, but he'd never thought one of them would be naive.
He flinches, glancing down.]
I'm not - fucked up. [an awkward curse to get his tongue around.] I came back because... well, because...
[because this is the place he's made for himself, in this world. This fur-covered house, with its stocked liquor cabinet and oddball inhabitants. Rincewind likes it here. He feels welcomed here.
It's just that he also used to feel safe here. Maybe he'll get that back, eventually. He hopes he does.]
You totally came home bleeding. Or ex...bleeding. Bloody.
[ She turns her head to give him a small attempt at a half smile, the expression matching the total lack of bite or effort in her tone. There were levels of fucked up. Some just came more murdery than others. ]
[Rincewind frowns at that (unfortunately accurate) observation, rubbing unconsciously at his neck.]
Well. That's not my fault. [but the flicker of a smile on April's face means he can tell she's not teasing him, so he holds back any further grumbles. At least on that note.
It's not like she doesn't have a point.]
I - know that. [mostly.] Just, it's not going to feel comfortable again. Not all at once.
Mm. Do whatever you want. Just leave a sticky note or whatever next time you do a drama flounce. I had to was my own clothes for, like, forever with Luggage gone.
[It's a lie. She had the raccoons wash it, like she had since time began. But the point remained. Kind of.]
Oh, you poor thing. [not even bothering to hide that sarcasm.] I can't think of anything that would be worse to go through. Certainly not being sent to take part in someone else's bloody revolution all because some kind-hearted idiot you were friends with years ago wrote fantastic lies about you in a country where you can lose your head for just looking up at the wrong person.
[Rincewind pauses for breath, considers continuing his rant - and then just drowns himself in wine again. He'll need to find the bottle, at this rate.]
[ Sorry, bro. Everyone here has a sob story and April mostly just cares about her own. She will manage to get up to get some more wine, though...so that she can share in the drinking. ]
[The word "sexy" and the very thought of Twoflower nearly short-circuits Rincewind's already battered brain. He shakes his head quickly, a hand going to his temple as if he can massage the very idea away.]
No, gods. Why is it always sex with you?
[and, quickly, in case she attempts to give him an answer:]
It wasn't so much that he lied as it was that he wrote lies. Twoflower... sees the world through the most dangerously delusional eyes of anyone I've ever met. We can both look at the same run-down whorehouse or bar fight, and he'll call it "quaint" and want to have his picture taken in front of it.
[his look softens. There really was some strange appeal to the little idiot. Rincewind couldn't help but miss him, despite how bloody dangerous he was to Rincewind's health.]
...He wrote that I was I was a "Great Wizard" and made Ankh-Morpork sound like some amazing place to live. Apparently that's enough to inspire taking up pitchforks against centuries of oppression.
[Great, sexy. Same difference. She was totally not on board with what he called a 'lie,' but whatever. Not the debate for the bloody. Maybe another night. When he was calling her the liar.]
They were being set up in the first place. The revolutionaries, I mean. By someone who'd planned to murder the emperor anyway - gave him other heads to roll, you know, after the fact. Convenient.
[Rincewind's expression darkened. He shook his head.]
They were little more than children. Literally. And they had this dreamy idea of how things would go, that was the real trouble. They bought into this grand thought that there's some nobility in dying for a cause. Hook, line, and sinker.
[But he admits, after a pause:]
I suppose we won though. Technically. A bunch of other things happened first, their "people's revolution" really had nothing to do with it, but - I suppose you could say it turned out for them. Er. I think. The last I knew I had a knife against my throat before I was pulled back here, so I can't say for sure how it ended.
[for them or himself, which Rincewind has mostly tried not to think about.
People with beliefs are the worst. Make the clean up way harder for the rest of us.
[Leslie Knope. But as fun as a bloody revolution sounds, April's not really one for leading groups of kids. She could see how gross the whole thing could've been for the wizard.]
And this place's this place. Don't worry about the gossip you missed. It'll all happen again.
Depressingly accurate. [which is generally Rincewind's job to be, but he's glad April's willing to pick up the slack for him. Another kindness, between the wine and the food.]
Well, as long as I get a week or so to myself before then. [he twists his way further into the couch cushions, settling.] I'd say it's the least the universe owes me. Any of them.
...You're okay then? [not that those sorts of questions worry him, or anything. Of course.]
[April lets out a small huff as she pushes herself into a standing position. Totally using the couch to leverage herself up, messing with his settling just a tiny bit out of principle. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wizzardly
no subject
Date: 2016-08-30 04:33 am (UTC)[and lest he start imagining it, Rincewind swiftly moves the conversation along. Even at the risk of it plummeting into deeper, more dangerous waters.
Which there's clearly a chance of, considering April isn't even looking at him now. Rincewind sets his cleaned bowl aside, twisting his mouth. The part of him that wants to be angry, was angry before, is mostly just tired now. His whole body is.]
But I didn't want to think that of him.
no subject
Date: 2016-08-30 11:05 pm (UTC)But the man is back. After a moment of digesting the family news, April turns back to look at him, even more confused now than she had been by how baby luggage would work.]
Thank what about Will?
no subject
Date: 2016-08-31 01:48 am (UTC)He glances over, guarded.]
You weren't surprised when you heard? You weren't upset?
no subject
Date: 2016-08-31 01:52 am (UTC)[Normal friends isn't even the right term. April scratches the back of her head, ruffling her hair, then leans against the couch with a huff.]
You know I made peace, right? With Freddie. For you. Now he says I'm the sickness, can't stand to talk to me. They have messed up thinking about each other, the dicks from Baltimore. So. Mm. Not really surprised, I guess.
no subject
Date: 2016-09-02 02:12 am (UTC)I know you did. Or tried. I appreciated that, I really did. [even as it's clear now that's not something that will ever last.] But - thinking's one thing. He - he had to cut Dorian open. For this. Like a fish.
[which is a suddenly, deeply unpleasant comparison, and it's a good thing he's already eaten.]
It's all just so... wrong.
no subject
Date: 2016-09-02 02:19 am (UTC)[April bends her knees, bringing them up to her chest to wrap her arms loosely around, not even noticing one of the dogs dives in to replace her feet on the carpet, absorbing the bit of warmth she left.]
So're you. It's why you came back to the house, I guess. It's what makes our house...our house.
no subject
Date: 2016-09-03 02:02 am (UTC)He flinches, glancing down.]
I'm not - fucked up. [an awkward curse to get his tongue around.] I came back because... well, because...
[because this is the place he's made for himself, in this world. This fur-covered house, with its stocked liquor cabinet and oddball inhabitants. Rincewind likes it here. He feels welcomed here.
It's just that he also used to feel safe here. Maybe he'll get that back, eventually. He hopes he does.]
...It's my home.
no subject
Date: 2016-09-03 02:06 am (UTC)[ She turns her head to give him a small attempt at a half smile, the expression matching the total lack of bite or effort in her tone. There were levels of fucked up. Some just came more murdery than others. ]
Will's not gonna come for you, jerk.
no subject
Date: 2016-09-07 04:08 pm (UTC)Well. That's not my fault. [but the flicker of a smile on April's face means he can tell she's not teasing him, so he holds back any further grumbles. At least on that note.
It's not like she doesn't have a point.]
I - know that. [mostly.] Just, it's not going to feel comfortable again. Not all at once.
no subject
Date: 2016-09-10 06:35 pm (UTC)[It's a lie. She had the raccoons wash it, like she had since time began. But the point remained. Kind of.]
no subject
Date: 2016-09-14 01:00 am (UTC)[Rincewind pauses for breath, considers continuing his rant - and then just drowns himself in wine again. He'll need to find the bottle, at this rate.]
no subject
Date: 2016-09-16 03:01 am (UTC)[ Sorry, bro. Everyone here has a sob story and April mostly just cares about her own. She will manage to get up to get some more wine, though...so that she can share in the drinking. ]
What did he say? They liar. Was it sexy?
no subject
Date: 2016-09-20 05:31 am (UTC)No, gods. Why is it always sex with you?
[and, quickly, in case she attempts to give him an answer:]
It wasn't so much that he lied as it was that he wrote lies. Twoflower... sees the world through the most dangerously delusional eyes of anyone I've ever met. We can both look at the same run-down whorehouse or bar fight, and he'll call it "quaint" and want to have his picture taken in front of it.
[his look softens. There really was some strange appeal to the little idiot. Rincewind couldn't help but miss him, despite how bloody dangerous he was to Rincewind's health.]
...He wrote that I was I was a "Great Wizard" and made Ankh-Morpork sound like some amazing place to live. Apparently that's enough to inspire taking up pitchforks against centuries of oppression.
no subject
Date: 2016-09-21 09:36 pm (UTC)[Great, sexy. Same difference. She was totally not on board with what he called a 'lie,' but whatever. Not the debate for the bloody. Maybe another night. When he was calling her the liar.]
You win?
no subject
Date: 2016-09-29 02:31 am (UTC)[Rincewind's expression darkened. He shook his head.]
They were little more than children. Literally. And they had this dreamy idea of how things would go, that was the real trouble. They bought into this grand thought that there's some nobility in dying for a cause. Hook, line, and sinker.
[But he admits, after a pause:]
I suppose we won though. Technically. A bunch of other things happened first, their "people's revolution" really had nothing to do with it, but - I suppose you could say it turned out for them. Er. I think. The last I knew I had a knife against my throat before I was pulled back here, so I can't say for sure how it ended.
[for them or himself, which Rincewind has mostly tried not to think about.
The wine is helping with that.]
...Anyway. Anything happen here?
no subject
Date: 2016-10-03 03:46 pm (UTC)[Leslie Knope. But as fun as a bloody revolution sounds, April's not really one for leading groups of kids. She could see how gross the whole thing could've been for the wizard.]
And this place's this place. Don't worry about the gossip you missed. It'll all happen again.
no subject
Date: 2016-10-05 02:27 am (UTC)Well, as long as I get a week or so to myself before then. [he twists his way further into the couch cushions, settling.] I'd say it's the least the universe owes me. Any of them.
...You're okay then? [not that those sorts of questions worry him, or anything. Of course.]
no subject
Date: 2016-10-11 10:39 pm (UTC)[April lets out a small huff as she pushes herself into a standing position. Totally using the couch to leverage herself up, messing with his settling just a tiny bit out of principle. ]
It's you jerks that keep me up at night.