IC CONTACT

[wizzardly]

VOICEMAIL:

"Er... yes, okay, I suppose I should tell you that if you're trying to reach me I'm not here, and if you're trying to reach me because you want to do something involving pointy bits of metal or otherwise painful objects, I'm never going to be here. So sorry."

Comments

[wizzardly]

And she's got a pretty one, you hardly need two anyway with a name like "Raina".

But sorry. I hardly know myself, I haven't got any relatives to ask.

[a pause. Sounding hopeful and attempting to be helpful, he adds:] If I had to guess I'd say it is a last, if only because it's not exactly one you run into. You could make one up for the first slot, if it makes the paperwork easier?

[slightlyoffchilt]

[Haven't got any relatives to ask. That seemed additionally tragic now, and Chilton realized he hadn't deeply delved into Rincewind's personal history outside the current facts -- such as "being vaguely British" and "kind of old timey, like Petyr Baelish". The hidden depths startled him.]

Ah -- right. What about -- ah. Hm. Ephraim?

[This is a lot of pressure, okay.]

[wizzardly]

[he murmurs the name to himself. It sounds like a good enough choice. It even flows, he thinks - sounds sort of dignified.]

Does it mean anything?

[slightlyoffchilt]

I imagine so. It... Means... [Stalling for a Google.] Oh. Fruitful.

[Called Rincewind a fruit, he did.]

[wizzardly]

[something Rincewind can't say he's ever particularly felt, so maybe it will be luckier for him.]

Well, I like fruit. "Ephraim" it is then.

[there's a hint of a smile in his voice. Not everyone has a friend who will give them a first name, after all. That means something. Even if it is just for paperwork. Chilton really is a true friend.]

[slightlyoffchilt]

Fantastic -- I'll just write that in. [A beat.] There.

[It isn't lost on him, the intimacy involved in naming someone. Such good pals.]

I am relieved to have cleared that up!

[wizzardly]

That's quite the first, me having a first. [see that word play?]

And I imagine you can't say you've named many patients before.

[or friends, or employees. ....Fratientees? Empliends?]

[slightlyoffchilt]

Well done.

[Wordplay praise!!]

And no, I haven't named them. Only their neurological disorders.

Which you have none of.

[Just to be perfectly clear.]

[wizzardly]

Well I could have told you that. I don't think the Spell would have ever allowed room for one, anyway. [and he imagines that afterward, when he'd finally evicted it, the affair left his head a bit like those houses left on the market forever because so-and-so got themselves murdered in the upstairs bedroom; a poor reputation can really ruin a living space.] My head's tended to be at capacity.

Have you seen any interesting ones lately?

[slightlyoffchilt]

Any interesting -- no new imPorts, if that is what you mean. Ambassador Baelish prefers that I keep an eye on the incoming metahuman population.

In case he requires their use. Of course.

[wizzardly]

[well there goes any shred of a good mood.]

- What do you mean by that?

[slightlyoffchilt]

Oh, you know how political types are. Always interested in making themselves look good with the premise of charity.

[wizzardly]

Oh yes. He's all about appearances, isn't he? Even for a man in a dress.

[/never going to let that go.]

[slightlyoffchilt]

I think it is a tunic. Granted -- an unusually long tunic.

A dress-length tunic.

[wizzardly]

Slimming, too, isn't it? Really accentuates those hips of his.

[which is a welcome conversational distraction from Baelish and Chilton involved together. ...With the metahumans.]

[slightlyoffchilt]

Why are you looking at his hips? Is this a pansexual thing?

[Asks Chilton. As if Chilton is totally heterosexual himself.]

[wizzardly]

It's not so odd to notice, you can't tell me you've never noticed. [huffy!]

Also, I think I would greatly appreciate never hearing that word again.

[slightlyoffchilt]

I believe that is simply his... Style. You know his line of work.

Probably rubs off on him.

[wizzardly]

I imagine that's not the only thing.

[entirely intentional innuendo.]

[slightlyoffchilt]

Why are you imagining that?

[NOT LETTING THE PANSEXUAL THING GO.]

[wizzardly]

[WHY NOT]

It's a turn of phrase!

[slightlyoffchilt]

All right, all right -- I won't pressure the pulse. [A beat.] You know that he is... obsessive about you, I will admit. Simply cannot help but wonder sometimes.

[wizzardly]

Obsessive? How do you mean "obsessive"? - Has he been talking about me? What's he said?

[slightlyoffchilt]

You simply seem to come up during our... Miscommunications.

[Arguments. He means arguments.]

[wizzardly]

...Like ours, do you mean?

[specifically, that one where it was miscommunicated to Chilton that Rincewind sent a deadly intelligence agent to hypnotize and harm him.]

Do those happen often?