IC CONTACT

[wizzardly]

VOICEMAIL:

"Er... yes, okay, I suppose I should tell you that if you're trying to reach me I'm not here, and if you're trying to reach me because you want to do something involving pointy bits of metal or otherwise painful objects, I'm never going to be here. So sorry."

Comments

[wizzardly]

That's quite the first, me having a first. [see that word play?]

And I imagine you can't say you've named many patients before.

[or friends, or employees. ....Fratientees? Empliends?]

[slightlyoffchilt]

Well done.

[Wordplay praise!!]

And no, I haven't named them. Only their neurological disorders.

Which you have none of.

[Just to be perfectly clear.]

[wizzardly]

Well I could have told you that. I don't think the Spell would have ever allowed room for one, anyway. [and he imagines that afterward, when he'd finally evicted it, the affair left his head a bit like those houses left on the market forever because so-and-so got themselves murdered in the upstairs bedroom; a poor reputation can really ruin a living space.] My head's tended to be at capacity.

Have you seen any interesting ones lately?

[slightlyoffchilt]

Any interesting -- no new imPorts, if that is what you mean. Ambassador Baelish prefers that I keep an eye on the incoming metahuman population.

In case he requires their use. Of course.

[wizzardly]

[well there goes any shred of a good mood.]

- What do you mean by that?

[slightlyoffchilt]

Oh, you know how political types are. Always interested in making themselves look good with the premise of charity.

[wizzardly]

Oh yes. He's all about appearances, isn't he? Even for a man in a dress.

[/never going to let that go.]

[slightlyoffchilt]

I think it is a tunic. Granted -- an unusually long tunic.

A dress-length tunic.

[wizzardly]

Slimming, too, isn't it? Really accentuates those hips of his.

[which is a welcome conversational distraction from Baelish and Chilton involved together. ...With the metahumans.]

[slightlyoffchilt]

Why are you looking at his hips? Is this a pansexual thing?

[Asks Chilton. As if Chilton is totally heterosexual himself.]

[wizzardly]

It's not so odd to notice, you can't tell me you've never noticed. [huffy!]

Also, I think I would greatly appreciate never hearing that word again.

[slightlyoffchilt]

I believe that is simply his... Style. You know his line of work.

Probably rubs off on him.

[wizzardly]

I imagine that's not the only thing.

[entirely intentional innuendo.]

[slightlyoffchilt]

Why are you imagining that?

[NOT LETTING THE PANSEXUAL THING GO.]

[wizzardly]

[WHY NOT]

It's a turn of phrase!

[slightlyoffchilt]

All right, all right -- I won't pressure the pulse. [A beat.] You know that he is... obsessive about you, I will admit. Simply cannot help but wonder sometimes.

[wizzardly]

Obsessive? How do you mean "obsessive"? - Has he been talking about me? What's he said?

[slightlyoffchilt]

You simply seem to come up during our... Miscommunications.

[Arguments. He means arguments.]

[wizzardly]

...Like ours, do you mean?

[specifically, that one where it was miscommunicated to Chilton that Rincewind sent a deadly intelligence agent to hypnotize and harm him.]

Do those happen often?

[slightlyoffchilt]

[Uncomfortably:] Only a couple of times. He is quick to believe I would antagonize him.

I would not.

[wizzardly]

Well that's surprising. I didn't think you two could fight about anything.

[slightlyoffchilt]

I typically get along with people so well.

[wizzardly]

Oh, I'm sure it's his own issues. [not that Rincewind can pretend at sympathy in this situation either way. Added distance between the Lord and the Doctor? Good.]

I've certainly always found you charming.

[slightlyoffchilt]

Well. [Chilton preened, very nearly melting into a girlish chuckle.] Thank you. I like to think I am -- I mean, what isn't there to enjoy? Honestly.

[He wasn't honestly asking.]

[wizzardly]

You had all those people show up for your celebration, so clearly not much.

[he's still not sure how Jeff found most of them.]

Did you know all of them beforehand? Most seemed quite all right. Although I've got some names to suggest you strike off any future guest lists.