IC CONTACT

[wizzardly]

VOICEMAIL:

"Er... yes, okay, I suppose I should tell you that if you're trying to reach me I'm not here, and if you're trying to reach me because you want to do something involving pointy bits of metal or otherwise painful objects, I'm never going to be here. So sorry."

Comments

[wizzardly]

['Enough to make me feel better' isn't exactly quantifiable, so give him a minute here.]

On a scale of one to ten... let's say a four.

[it's probably best he be careful, considering he doesn't yet know how far April's scale goes; witches and vengeance sometimes pair a little too well.]

[aggressiveapathy]

Okay. So. Invite him over. We'll make something happen.

[ A something left very intentionally, clearly vague. ]

[wizzardly]

...Right, okay, I was thinking something less ominous. Also possibly not immediately traceable back to me. In case.

[aggressiveapathy]

...I don't get it.

[ Seriously. She is just leaning back on the bed, looking at him in confusion. ]

How is it fun to mess with someone if they don't know it's you?

[wizzardly]

That's the most fun because then they can't retaliate against you.

[patiently.]

[aggressiveapathy]

But then you can't, like, rub it in their face.

[ And don't get the fun of trying to stop them from getting revenge. Or getting re-revenge- wait. ]

That doesn't sound fun.

[wizzardly]

Yes, but they also can't punch you in yours.

[cowardice in all things, April. This is the way of the Rincewind.

He shrugs a little helplessly.]

Sorry. It's all right if you'd rather not.

[aggressiveapathy]

We can do...stuff. I guess.

[ It will just take a little extra thinking. ]

Everyone lets secrets out on the network. Eventually.

[wizzardly]

Eventually is better than immediately. Time for the Porter to send him back to whatever horrid land he came from, hopefully.

[aggressiveapathy]

She's not that kinda god.

[wizzardly]

"She"? - Do you mean Lachesis?

[aggressiveapathy]

Or her sister. I stopped keeping track. Just. Offer sacrifice and hope for the best.

[ She leans back against his pillows. Even April doesn't know if she's joking at this point. It's been too long in this place. ]

[wizzardly]

Gods are bastards on the whole.

[which feels good to say in a world where he's reasonably sure they can't hear him. He sits again, then slowly lays back as well, legs dangling off the edge.]

...I don't know that I ever thanked you for not minding my living here. But thank you.

[aggressiveapathy]

That is the saddest thing you ever said. Don't let Luggage hear that. It's a bad example.

[ April almost forced her way into her first living situation in this world. There was none of this touchy feely stuff. Just fierce house-protection. ]

[wizzardly]

Sorry. [a little shrug.] I do mean it though.

[aggressiveapathy]

Mm. Well.

[ She bites her lip for a moment, then...stays where she's laying. The dramatics were for fake promises. ]

Than I need another favor.

[wizzardly]

[Rincewind pinches the bridge of his nose.]

This is two now. You've already had me agree to find your husband a new wife and tell you about the dates I'm probably never going on.

[aggressiveapathy]

God, don't be a baby. We'll be even, okay? I can never kick you out of the house because you don't owe anything.

[wizzardly]

...Deal.

[that's admittedly a hell of an offer.]

[aggressiveapathy]

If anyone is gonna try to kill you or whatever, you have to tell me. I'm so over my things getting blown up because everyone has deep dark secrets they wanna brood over.

[wizzardly]

[Oh.]

Are you sure? I tend to become a rather popular target for murder attempts, for some reason. I'm not currently, that I know, but - things happen. You could get rather sick of hearing about it.

[aggressiveapathy]

Leave me sticky notes.

[wizzardly]

[sticky notes? Notes made sticky?? Okay]

If you insist.

[aggressiveapathy]

Good boy. Or, you know, you can figure out how to not get murdered all the time. And not leave me notes. Both work.

[But she's smiling, just a little bit.]

[wizzardly]

I've had a 100% success rate at staying alive so far, I promise you I don't plan to spoil the record.

[returning that little smile. And he's not going to kick April out of his room anytime soon, so - for as long as she's willing to chill, Rincewind is too.]