wizzardly | IC CONTACT

VOICEMAIL:

"Er... yes, okay, I suppose I should tell you that if you're trying to reach me I'm not here, and if you're trying to reach me because you want to do something involving pointy bits of metal or otherwise painful objects, I'm never going to be here. So sorry."

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

slightlyoffchilt

Rincewind? I needs your surname for this employee paperwork. This is official, serious business and I cannot accept simply a first name interaction on such documentation -- that might demonstrate favoritism.

We cannot allow people to know that.

From:

wizzardly

My - ? Oh.

[this is awkward.]

Right, so... I think it possibly is a last name? It's true it could also be a first, though, and I certainly use it as one, but the point is that's... something else they don't have to know? You could sort of put it down for both, sort of thing.

From:

slightlyoffchilt

Wait.

I am to call you Rincewind Rincewind?

From:

wizzardly

Preferably not out loud. Could get tiring.

...Is it really an issue? I've only got the one name. I know it's not the best, but it is mine.

From:

slightlyoffchilt

[A soft whine:] But my paperwork...

I just, I had always assumed that was only your first name. Like how Raina has forcibly but one name. Same with Madonna. I thought it was a personal choice, not a lack thereof.

From:

wizzardly

And she's got a pretty one, you hardly need two anyway with a name like "Raina".

But sorry. I hardly know myself, I haven't got any relatives to ask.

[a pause. Sounding hopeful and attempting to be helpful, he adds:] If I had to guess I'd say it is a last, if only because it's not exactly one you run into. You could make one up for the first slot, if it makes the paperwork easier?

From:

slightlyoffchilt

[Haven't got any relatives to ask. That seemed additionally tragic now, and Chilton realized he hadn't deeply delved into Rincewind's personal history outside the current facts -- such as "being vaguely British" and "kind of old timey, like Petyr Baelish". The hidden depths startled him.]

Ah -- right. What about -- ah. Hm. Ephraim?

[This is a lot of pressure, okay.]

From:

wizzardly

[he murmurs the name to himself. It sounds like a good enough choice. It even flows, he thinks - sounds sort of dignified.]

Does it mean anything?

From:

slightlyoffchilt

I imagine so. It... Means... [Stalling for a Google.] Oh. Fruitful.

[Called Rincewind a fruit, he did.]

From:

wizzardly

[something Rincewind can't say he's ever particularly felt, so maybe it will be luckier for him.]

Well, I like fruit. "Ephraim" it is then.

[there's a hint of a smile in his voice. Not everyone has a friend who will give them a first name, after all. That means something. Even if it is just for paperwork. Chilton really is a true friend.]

From:

slightlyoffchilt

Fantastic -- I'll just write that in. [A beat.] There.

[It isn't lost on him, the intimacy involved in naming someone. Such good pals.]

I am relieved to have cleared that up!

From:

wizzardly

That's quite the first, me having a first. [see that word play?]

And I imagine you can't say you've named many patients before.

[or friends, or employees. ....Fratientees? Empliends?]

From:

slightlyoffchilt

Well done.

[Wordplay praise!!]

And no, I haven't named them. Only their neurological disorders.

Which you have none of.

[Just to be perfectly clear.]

From:

wizzardly

Well I could have told you that. I don't think the Spell would have ever allowed room for one, anyway. [and he imagines that afterward, when he'd finally evicted it, the affair left his head a bit like those houses left on the market forever because so-and-so got themselves murdered in the upstairs bedroom; a poor reputation can really ruin a living space.] My head's tended to be at capacity.

Have you seen any interesting ones lately?

From:

slightlyoffchilt

Any interesting -- no new imPorts, if that is what you mean. Ambassador Baelish prefers that I keep an eye on the incoming metahuman population.

In case he requires their use. Of course.

From:

wizzardly

[well there goes any shred of a good mood.]

- What do you mean by that?

From:

slightlyoffchilt

Oh, you know how political types are. Always interested in making themselves look good with the premise of charity.

From:

wizzardly

Oh yes. He's all about appearances, isn't he? Even for a man in a dress.

[/never going to let that go.]

From:

slightlyoffchilt

I think it is a tunic. Granted -- an unusually long tunic.

A dress-length tunic.

From:

wizzardly

Slimming, too, isn't it? Really accentuates those hips of his.

[which is a welcome conversational distraction from Baelish and Chilton involved together. ...With the metahumans.]